An open letter to men in bars (or other social settings)

Dear single men (or any man hoping to get some),

For the ones with short attention spans...... if you want to get with one woman, don't flirt with another.

I can explain further..... but if you start to fade, just remember.... if you want to get with one woman, don't flirt with another.

I'll be honest. I don't spend a whole lot of time in bars. They really aren't my scene. Tonight proved why.

See, it started out as an event in our downtown. A family affair. A certain FD kept asking me if I was going to be there since my station would be there. I wasn't planning on it, but after the 4th time he asked today, I thought, Sure, why not.

So, I go down there and meet up with my coworkers and FD.

In the midst of the group, FD attempts to "hang out" but he keeps getting side-tracked. A big social butterly is FD. We've done this before. FD presses me to come "hang out" and then basically leaves me standing while he chats it up with other people. Then, when I got to leave he's all like, "Oh man, we didn't get to hang out."

Well, I've been here for like two hours. It's not like I'm stopping to say Hi. You chose to talk to every Tom, Dick, or Harry that walks by.

Anyway, so I'm used to this.

Then Miss Blue Shirt walks up. Apparently, FD and MBS had gone out once before. So, they chat for a while. She walks away.

Everyone decides to walk to dinner. Suddenly, MBS and her two friends show back up and they come with.

At this point, I see the writing on the wall and basically give up trying to "hang out" or anything else with FD.

MBS doesn't even eat. She just sits. The friends had gone away and then they come back. It's pretty clear that they are hoping she'll make the decision to either leave with them or tell them that she's going to stay awhile and will be ok without them. MBS makes a good effort to join the group of people that she doesn't actually know and still keep in her friends' conversation.

After dinner, they want to walk down to the bar. This is typically where Jess heads out. I'm not really a bar girl. However, I get talked into coming.

We get there (I'm not even pretending to talk with FD and he's too busy playing super guy with the other three to notice). I order a drink.... one of my semi-coworkers buys it for me which was super nice.

Then, I stand against the wall and start to watch.

It's very entertaining.

You had your token drunk woman who was poorly dressed and was dancing around very UN-sexily.

You had your frat boys (or former frat boys) who casually flirted, but mainly wanted to hang with the boys.

You had your girls who clearly were hoping to get picked up.

You had your table of coeds that flirted with each other in friendliness and would either help or hinder any soul who ventured to the table, depending on what was wanted by the target.

Then, you had FD, MBS, her friends, and the rest of us.

Poor MBS' friends. They were sitting on stools, not drinking ANYTHING, and so obviously wanted to be gone. You could almost hear them say to MBS, "Really, make up your mind. Either you still need us or you don't. We want to get home or just to anywhere but here."

You had MBS who would talk with FD when he was paying attention to her. Then, when he wasn't, she'd turn to her friends so she wasn't standing there by herself.

You had FD who came over to me once or twice to "make sure I was having fun"..... did his best to win the friends over (the fact that they hadn't left doesn't bode well for him)..... flirted up a storm with MBS while trying to be cool about it...... and continued to talk with every single female he came into contact with.

Please keep in mind..... FD is a nice guy. He really, honestly is. But, he definitely has the flirting gene. And, he hasn't yet perfected the art of making a woman feel like she's the only one he's interested in (whether or not he actually is).

At one point, I leaned over to one of our mutual friends and said, "Um.... if he wants her, I can tell him several things that he's doing wrong."

Not only with her, but with me, too. Like I said, I see the writing on the wall with this one.

I made my observations known. Then, said mutual friend called him over and started reaming him out. She told him exactly what I'd just said and more.

After that, I looked at my watch and noticed it was 10pm. Thankfully, the semi-coworker who bought my drink announced he was leaving and asked if any of the ladies wanted an escort back to their cars. I took that as my cue to leave.

If it wasn't a little ewww, I would want to know if MBS ever actually decided to commit to the evening.

Because, really, as nice as FD is, when you're turning your back to him in order to talk with your friends because he's talking to two "girls he went to high school with" it's probably not worth it.

Oh.... and, as I left, he hugged me good-bye and told me he'd call me in the morning to let me know whether or not he could meet me and a mutual friend for lunch. Because, the whole time all of this was going on, mutual friend was texting us both to try to set up lunch.

And, THAT was my Friday evening.

So boys..... if you're still or ever were reading... the moral of the story is this..... if you want to get with one woman, don't flirt with another.