Wow

I'm sitting here at this computer screen with a huge host of emotions flowing through me.

So, 'The Guy' is having a baby. A little girl.

Do the math..... He has known he was having a baby for a while now. In those months, when we've texted back and forth or the few times we've chatted on the phone..... never once mentioned that he was even dating someone, much less that he was going to be a Daddy.

If he's happy, then I'm truly happy for him. That is all I have ever wanted for him.

While I had given up the hope that one day I'd get to point our kids to go talk to their Daddy, I still thought that we were friends. Like, real friends.

Where I don't find out that this was happening through his work FB page. You know, where his listeners.... who didn't talk to him when he was stuck by himself in Minnesota on Christmas Day.... find out before me.

I used to tell him all the time that he would make a wonderful father. I told him that when he didn't believe it himself.

I wish none of this mattered to me. I wish I could hear the news and be like all of his hometown friends that have lost touch with him, because as he puts it, "I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people. Your one of the only people I ever talk to."

All of those friends are super happy for him. They're thinking to themselves, "Holy crap, he's finally settling down!"

I wish I weren't really sad for thinking that I was more important than to find out with the masses. Not even the personal masses.... the work masses.

But, I am sad. And, hurt.

Because, after everything that has ever gone on, I thought I actually was considered a true friend. That's what I thought we were.

It is devastating to find out how wrong you were.