First the bad........

There's good..... I promise. It just comes after the bad.

Edited to add.......... This is long and sappy. And, sad for me. I almost didn't post it, but I needed to... for me, more than anything. Feel free to skip this post.

Also edited to add.... in case they don't read this.... Thanks, Heidi, Meg, Mia, Jeni, Billie Jo, Leslie, Mary, and Mom.

A week ago, things were going really well. Our owner's birthday was Monday the 24th, so we had a huge potluck lunch. I secretly pretended the festivities were also for me, since my birthday was the next day, lol. "The Guy" and I were having fun with everything.... he was being him and I was kind of calling him out in front of everyone.... they all thought it was funny. It was just a really good day.

Towards the end of the day, I went to go say "Hi" to Mary. TG was talking with her.... they changed conversations when I walked up, we chatted lightly, and then TG said he had to go talk to our boss. I continued talking with Mary for a few minutes, then had to go take care of something in my office. TG came by a few minutes later, being all cute... he stuck his head in my office, "What are you smiling at?" He was being really cute, so I responded, "You. What are you smiling at?" He winked and left.

I finished up what I was doing and went back to Mary's cubicle. They were talking. I barely got to her cubicle when he blurts out, "I'm leaving."

I've summarized the conversation in my earlier post. It took a lot of convincing from him for me to believe him. He got a job in Minnesota and was leaving. Now, despite my shock, we *had* talked about it. I knew he was looking and sending out resumes. He was constantly telling me about Promotions jobs all over the country that he saw online. The thing is, both of us said in almost every conversation about him looking for another job, "Seriously, though, what are the odds? With all the out of work people in radio.... it probably won't happen."

Well, it did, unfortunately. He spent the next hour telling us about it. He kept saying over and over that we would have to come visit...."You'll have a place to come when you take a vacation."

I got onto him about lying to me, lol. He was supposed to be visiting his parents the previous weekend.... he was really in Minnesota on his final interview. "I couldn't say anything until I knew something, for sure. I couldn't tell you."

After he finally left, I burst into tears, lol. Poor Mary. She said, "Well, I can't say I'm exactly surprised. I've seen the two of you together.... the thought has passed through my head that there might be more than just friendship between the two of you. However, when he told you and I saw your face, I knew it was worse than I could ever have imagined."

I spent a lot of time that night talking with some great friends...... they were so supportive.

The next day was my birthday. I tried to pretend that everything was cool. Chicken couldn't tell me to my face, "Happy Birthday." He left me a voice message on my desk phone.... then, came into my office to see if I'd checked my messages, lol. Then, he left a cute note on my Facebook.

That night, we spent an hour and a half on Facebook. See, we do that. Whenever we can't say something to each other's face, we say it on Facebook or IM or text message. It's a flaw in our relationship, lol. Mostly, it was silliness and sarcasm, mixed in with moments of This is what I want you to know.

Wednesday morning, he came in and said, "I hope you had a Happy Birthday. I got you a birthday present, but you aren't going to get it until I leave."...... "You got me a present?".... "Yeah, but you have to wait until I get up there."...... I'm still not sure if he actually got me anything or if he was just being stupid. I'll be really mad if he doesn't.... um, hello, I didn't bring it up. He did.

I also told Jeni about my feelings for him. She had NO clue. Apparently, I'm really good at hiding my feelings, lol, because I was sure she knew. She gave me some great advice.

Anyway, we spent a lot of time together on Wednesday. Both of us were dancing around the subject of going to lunch..... we never did. I think he was waiting for me to ask and I was waiting for him to ask. Stupid us, lol.

Thursday sucked. He finally came in and we kind of avoided each other. Then, Mary sort of played matchmaker.... it was picture time. We got our little picture and chatted for a few minutes. Mary left us alone and he said he had to go, "I'll be back tomorrow." He'd said this every day before left, throughout the week.

"Yeah, but I won't. My flight leaves tomorrow morning."

We did the good-bye thing. Well, he never said good bye, just "See you later."

I ended up leaving him a card on his desk. Then, before I got on the plane, I sent him a text message, thanking him for telling me himself. I'd have been really, really mad if I'd heard it from someone else. When I got off the plane, he had texted me back.

We'll see when/if I hear from him again.... or, if there's a present, lol. Mary and Jeni (who both know him well and adore him) both brought up some good points to me. He's clearly not ready for anything real, at this point in his life. He's still trying to figure out who is and what he wants. Regardless of what he may or may not feel about me.... he needs to get his life together.

I came back to work today (Monday the 31st). All of his stuff was gone. I was sad, but not nearly as sad I thought I was going to be. It will take some getting used to. Especially, since in the past 6 months, we've seen and/or talked and/or texted and/or emailed and/or Facebooked one another almost every day.

Well, I guess I got an answer. Now, I'm just praying for help moving on.

Weekly Workout Blog

Week 12.....

Yeah, absolutely nothing.

Nada.

At all.

For the entire week.

I had plans to workout.

It just didn't happen, lol.

First, it was my birthday and I had plans for part of the week.

Then, I got surprised with some more plans.

Plus, "The Guy" announced he was moving to Minne-FRIGGING-sota. I didn't feel like it, lol.

Grade for this week...... A big fat F. Oh well, lol.

Goals for next week:

• Go to Curves at least twice
• 30 minutes on the Elliptical machine at least 3 times
• Pilates at least 2 times
• Walk - either by lake or on treadmill at least 3 times

Happy Birthday to me, etc, etc, etc

I totally meant to post this week. In fact, I was going to post first thing on Tuesday (my birthday) all about my plans for this year and what I want to accomplish. They were to go something like this....

1) To keep losing weight.... specifically, at least 26 pounds. - Not just because I'm 26 and that was cute, but losing 26 lbs would put me at a very even number. A number I think I'd like. Not to stay there, but that would be closer to my actual goal weight.

2) To continue to try to live and appreciate life more - I want to stop and smell the roses, etc.

3) To start investing - I've got the amount in my savings that I've been working towards. Now, it's time to really start investing.

4) To work on moving out - Not necessarily by the time I'm 27, but I need to be getting close to it.

And, the most important to me, at the time.....

5) Either be with or get over "The Guy"... basically, get some closure on the situation - The "will they/won't they"...."I like you, do you like me?" stuff needs to be on its way out. He's a close friend, but I can't go on like this for another year.

..... Yeah, that was the plan for August 25, 2009 through August 25, 2010.

And, then, "The Guy" drops a bomb on me, Monday afternoon.

"I am moving to Minnesota."

You're kidding, right? No? Really? Oh, there's more?

"Friday is my last day.... I'm moving on Sunday."

And, Jess' world implodes.

So, despite my best attempts to pretend that I didn't hear that on the afternoon before my birthday, I basically have been a walking basket case for the past few days. In the past 3 1/2 days, I think I've cried an 8th ocean.

It has really sucked. Thankfully, I have some absolutely AMAZING friends who have been a great support, with great advice.

I will go into more detail, at a later date. I'm too tired and worn out to get it all out, right now. Plus, as part of my birthday present, I'm going out of town in the morning. Being me, I'm not done packing.

However, as I've now gone 8 hours without bursting into tears (which is longer than I've gone since Monday at about 4pm), I wanted to purge a bit of my soul and do a slight update on the week. As of this afternoon, the "good-bye" has been said. As far as I'm concerned, he's gone. By the time I get back, he'll be on his way to Minnesota and there's no telling when I'll see him again.

So, it looks like #5 might be happening well before I turn 27.

BTW.... I am thinking of petitioning the National Government. I'd like to have the state's name changed to Minne-FRIGGING-sota. I've been calling it that, since Monday, and I feel it has a nice ring to it.

Food for thought

Our pastor has been doing a sermon series on prayer. Today, he used 'The Lord's Prayer' as a model to start having a more involved prayer life. He broke it down, line by line, and showed us how we can use it on an everyday basis, not just Easter, big services, and group readings, lol.

I was enthralled. I've always enjoyed saying that prayer, but today I saw everything in a new light. One of his main points was that we are to pray to God and then not only listen, but let Him work on His time, not ours.

Another point he made was that there are four common answers we get from God.....

No - No, you aren't getting what you're asking for. It's not in my plan for you.

Go - You are on the right path. Keep on trekking.

Slow - Take it easy. Don't rush. Wait and I'll show you my will.

Grow - This is meant as a learning experience. Pay attention to what I'm teaching us.

Again, I was totally caught by what my pastor was saying. Now, I just need to listen and figure out which answer He's giving me, lol.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
[For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.]
Amen.

Weekly Workout Blog....

Week 11...

Sunday: nada

Monday: Curves

Tuesday: Nothin doin

Wednesday: 30 min Elliptical and 30 mins Treadmill

Thursday: Nothing.... I seriously haven't been feeling well this week

Friday: Curves, 30 min on Elliptical, and 30 min on Treadmill

Saturday: 30 mins Elliptical and 30 mins Treadmill

Grade for this week: B.... I managed to achieve everything but Pilates, despite feeling like CRAP. You know how when you're tired and you force yourself to go workout, but you do feel better when you're done? Not this week. I felt worse. Oh, well.

Goals for next week:

It's my birthday and I have plans for several days this week, therefore I'm taking it easy......

• Curves at least once
• Elliptical at least twice
• Walking at least twice
• Pilates at least once

Taking inventory....

I am coming up on my one-year blogging anniversary. I knew it was sometime in September, but didn't know the exact date. So, while looking back for a date, I read my first couple months of posts. More importantly, I read my very first post.

In it, I listed some goals for myself before I turned 26. Well, that big day is this upcoming Tuesday (slightly hard to believe how fast the past year has gone), so I thought I take inventory of what was accomplished and what I'm still working on.

1) Have a full-time job.... if not at where I'm at, then someplace else. I really don't want to go any where else, but despite promises and appreciation, part-time is getting really old, lol.

-A big ole CHECK! I now have the job I'd been working so hard for! That's probably the biggest accomplishment and the biggest change I've experienced this year. As I was reading through some of my old posts, I do kind of miss that schedule. It was very fluid. Mostly, I miss my friends at CPE. That was a really great place to work. However, I do enjoy being in one place... having an office... not feeling so nomadic... SLEEP.

2) Lose weight!!! I've done a great job, but I've hit a lull, so I'm kicking myself back into gear.

- Again, check! Notice that it was a lowercase check, lol. It took me a while to really get into it.... December through April wasn't so great. However, ya'll have been enduring my Weekly Workout Blogs for some time now. And, it's helping!! Slowly, but surely!

3) Celebrate life more..... I really want to live more and appreciate what I have more.

- I think so. That's always a work in progress, I think.

4) Hopefully, be more open. I've found that on Facebook and MySpace, I've begun to hide parts of myself. I'm not sure why, but I'd like to rectify that!

- Again, work in progress, but I think I have become more open. There's always that tendency to shade yourself, but I am working on it.

Not so bad, huh? The funny part was that I'd completely forgotten about those goals I'd set for myself, until I read the post. I was happy to see that without thinking about it, I had acheived what I wanted to acheive.

I've already got some goals for this year. As soon as I read this list, I knew what I wanted to acheive before I turn 27 (I would like to point out that I do NOT like that number.... dear heavens, I'm so friggin close to 30). I'll wait until the actual day to post them, though.

Jess Goes to the Dentist

Confession.....

I have an irrational fear of cavities and gum disease.

Second confession.....

Until today, it had been a LONG time since I'd been to the dentist. A long time. I'm embarrassed to admit how long. Part was because of my irrational fear... the other part was because I worked 3 part-time jobs (none of which offered insurance).

Well, today was the day.

I went to the dentist, yes, I did.

I'm pretty sure I was having a minor panic attack in the chair, especially when the hygienist would make notes after checking in my mouth. I sat there with my hands clenched the entire time.

The good news? No gum disease.

The bad news? I do have slightly receding gums, because apparently I brush too much.

The bad news? The word "Cavity" came up.

The good news? There was only one and it's very small. I was slightly disappointed, but thankful.

I have another appointment in 2 weeks to take care of said cavity. Then, I'm good for another 6 months.

I've decided to try keeping up the whole dentist thing.

The Time Traveler's Wife

Yesterday, I went out to see The Time Traveler's Wife with my mom, Jeni, and Jeni's mom. We had such an awesome girls' afternoon!!! First a movie and then, dinner.

I read the book last month and really enjoyed it. I completely wonder what it would be like to know so much about your life. Seriously, could you imagine some man visiting you from the future and telling you he was your husband, lol?

It is a touching story.... I'd recommend it!

Then, came the movie. The Notebook is one of my favorite movies ever, so Rachel McAdams had a lot to live up to where adaptations were concerned.

As complicated as the book is, I thought they did a really good job translating it to film. Not quite as amazing as The Notebook, but still really good.

I will say this... I think it helps to have read the book. I was the only one out of the four that had read it and I spent some of dinner explaining various points in the film. Even today, Jeni was asking me a couple questions. They all still liked the movie, but were confused by a few things. I knew what was going on, because I knew the details.

.... and, may I say how much I absolutely LOVED the wedding dress? It was so beautiful.

Weekly Workout Blog

Week 10.....

Sunday: Absolutely nothing. I was so flipping exhausted from working out and the Kenny show the day/night before.

Monday: Curves.... I also weighed/measured myself. I've lost 8 lbs in 9 weeks! I've also lost about 1/8 (arms) to 1/2 (hips) of an inch in all areas that I measured. That's pretty good, I think. Sure, I'd love for it to be more, but I know that slow and steady is healthier.

Tuesday: 30 mins on Elliptical

Wednesday: Nada.... I was tired

Thursday: 30 mins Elliptical and 30 mins Treadmill

Friday: Curves

Saturday: 30 mins Elliptical, 30 mins Treadmill, and 20 mins Pilates

Grade for this week: B-.... I missed a walk and a Pilates.

Goals for next week:

• Go to Curves at least twice
• 30 minutes on the Elliptical machine at least 3 times
• Pilates at least 2 times
• Walk - either by lake or on treadmill at least 3 times

Show Us Your Life - Favorite Vacation Spots

I am SO excited about this edition of Kelly's Korner - Show Us Your Life! I love taking vacations and traveling.

1. Disney World

I love Disney World. Even though it's technically not a vacation, as DW is like 40 mins from my house, it's still one of my favorite places on Earth. Walking onto that property, the air feels and smells different. It's lovely.

2. New York City

I *heart* NYC. There's no place else like it. I adore how you can walk EVERYWHERE. Truly.... I hate cars. I wish I could walk everywhere in my town.

I love how you can walk down one street and it's overcrowded and booming. Then, you walk two streets over and it's a silent neighborhood.

I LOVE all the history. History is also the reason I like places like Boston and Washington DC, but there's something different about New York. It's like all these facets just melt together to create this wonderful place.

I love the entertainment and all the things there are to do.

I would love to live there for like a year or two. Just to say that I did. I wouldn't want to live there forever.... it's too cold... but just long enough to say that I have.



3. Nashville




Nashville is a place that I feel I could live in forever. There's the perfect mixture of Southern and upscale. Country and city. For some reason, it just feels like home to me.

Working in the music industry, there's something so cool about walking down the street and hearing people in the bars sing. They are truly trying to make it.

It just isn't summer without a Chesney concert....

Last night was friggin AWESOME! I've been to a total of four Chesney concerts, but this one was super special. We got a bit of the VIP treatment.... nice, lol.

J's husband didn't really want to go, so we went together. When we got there, it was POURING. Like, torrential downpour. In fact, two years ago, the concert was on the first day of Hurricane Season and there was a Tropical Storm. It rained more last night than it did then.

After a bit of drama, we got to our little reserved parking spot next to the backstage gate. Our rep met us out there and gave us our "stuff."

First bit of business.....

Lady Antebellum and I

Right after meeting them, we were going to meet Miranda Lambert. However, it started pouring, once again. We decided to run for cover, instead, lol. Love ya, Miranda, but not when it's raining and lightening.

It started letting up, some. We borrowed an umbrella from a complete stranger and went to our next Meet and Greet.

Um, yes.... that would be me with KC.

As super fun as it was to meet Kenny, it took up half of the Lady A show. I LOVE THEM, so I was a bit sad about that. The funny thing was that I know their music so well that I was singing along with them (it was really hard to hear) while standing in line. J found it amusing.

We got back to our seats in time for the last half of their show. I absolutely adore them. They even played two songs off their album that aren't singles.... Love's Lookin Good On You and All We'd Ever Need. Those two are my favorites on the album, so I was pumped to hear them live.

In between Lady A and Miranda Lambert, I found a couple of friends that were seated nearby. We chatted for a while and then I went back to my seat.

Miranda Lambert

This chick is really hard to get pictures of... she moves around so much. Luckily she took a seat for "More Like Her".... that's actually my favorite song she sings.

After Miranda left the stage, we met up with our rep. He hooked us up with a little more VIP treatment. We love him, lol.

Our rep with J....

Our rep and I....

They were clearing everyone out... which meant the Big Man was getting ready to take the stage. We went back to our seats and got ready for the main event!

I love that we got "Kenny Chesney 2009" in the background. I'm a dork.... I know.

Kenny Chesney!!!!!

He puts on SUCH a great show. If you EVER get the chance to go to a show.... GO. Don't hesitate. He's amazing and seriously one of the best entertainers. He has so much energy.

If you look in the top right, you can see him, too.

I love it when he stops what he's doing and just enjoys the crowd. He gets such a kick out of everyone. I'm telling you, it's a giant party. Everyone sings and dances and just lets loose for as long as the music lasts.

Miranda thinks his tractor's sexy.

His encore was a little short. Our rep confirmed that he usually goes longer... and would have. However, there are really strict rules surrounding the Ford Amp. If the show isn't done by 11pm, they have to pay a hefty fine. Unfortunately, the venue is in the middle of some residential areas that sued because of the noise. Hence, the 11pm curfew. :(

Sadly, it had to end. I always get sad at the end of a Kenny show. You have to wait yet another year for the party to come around. Some people complain about the heat and the fact that he does outdoor venues in Florida. But, I wouldn't want it any other way. It just fits Kenny.

After the show, we headed across the street to the casino with our rep. Again, loads of fun. We got home around 3:15am. Yeah, late night, lol.

... and, all of the above is why "Kenny Chesney concerts" are one of the six reasons I like summer, lol.

Weekly Workout Blog...

Week 9....

Sunday: 20 mins Pilates

Monday: 30 mins Elliptical and 30 mins on the Treadmill

Tuesday: 30 mins Elliptical, 30 mins Treadmill, and 20 mins Pilates

Wednesday: Curves

Thursday: Nothing... I had a glorious evening of getting my hair done and then going out to dinner with a friend.

Friday: Nothing. I meant to workout, but by the time I was done with work at 8... I was just done, lol.

Saturday: 30 mins Elliptical, 30 mins Treadmill, 20 mins Pilates

Grade for this week: A.... I missed one of my Curves goals, but I exceeded my Pilates goal. I consider that a success!

Goals for this upcoming week:

• Go to Curves at least twice
• 30 minutes on the Elliptical machine at least 3 times
• Pilates at least 2 times
• Walk - either by lake or on treadmill at least 3 times

Reverse PMS?

Ok, weird question (and, possibly TMI)....

Is it possible to have reverse PMS?

For the past two months, I've been moody and weepy AFTER my period. Not before. Like, seriously, I've cried the day or two after my period ended.

In July (the 9th, to be exact), I was all emotional and even said to someone, "It's like reverse PMS or something. I just feel like crying."

Then, today/tonight, I was also emotional and teary. It hit me that it was a month later... again, right after my period ended.

Granted, both times, my moodiness centered around the male species. So, maybe it was their fault. But, I do think it's odd that I've felt this way two months in a row.

Rascal Flatts Concert (7/25/09)

One of the things I love about summer is the summer concerts that come to the Ford Amp. I skipped out on Toby Keith last month, but I wasn't about to miss out on Rascal Flatts. They came with Darius Rucker last Saturday.

I was already planning on going to the concert. However, we had a couple pairs of tickers that were never picked up. So, my mom and Jeff decided to take Haigen. Haigen wanted someone to hang out with, so we invited Evan! It worked out perfectly!

Haigen and Evan, concert buddies!

Billie Jo and I had seats a little closer to the stage.

Ladies' Man.... They were "shaking their butts when they danced" and Haigen thought it was funny. When they saw him, they wanted a picture with him. LOL, Evan was fine just watching. Don't worry, Mia, you're still the only woman in his life!

Darius Rucker put on a GREAT show, as their opening act. He sang both his current Country stuff, plus he added in some of 'Hootie and the Blowfish' best songs. He came by the station late last year.... SUCH a nice guy.

The main event.... Rascal Flatts!!!

They were AWESOME! This was my 4th time seeing them in concert and this was by far the best show I've seen.

The boys jamming to the boys...

Darius came out to sing with Rascal Flatts during their Encore.

Isn't this too cute?!.... When Darius came out, they all sang "Hold My Hand" (my favorite Hootie and the Blowfish song). Well, Evan and Haigen took them seriously, lol.....



*sigh* Tim Tebow was at the show and came out at the very end. Even the 'Noles fans in the audience were cheering. I have a crush on him like I did Danny Wuerffel. Go Gators!

And, they're out for the count.......

Next up?..... KENNY CHESNEY!! He's coming this upcoming Saturday with Miranda Lambert and Lady Antebellum. I am SO FREAKING EXCITED!

Weekly Workout Blog....

Week 8......

Sunday: Nothing

Monday: Curves and a walk around the lake

Tuesday: 30 mins on the Elliptical and a walk around the lake

Wednesday: 30 mins on the Elliptical and 20 mins Pilates

Thursday: Nothing... I worked from 8a-11p, lol.

Friday: Nothing... too tired from the day before, lol.

Saturday: 30 mins on the Elliptical, 30 mins on the Treadmill, and 20 mins Pilates

Grade for this week - A-.... Didn't quite make the Curves goal. However, I did make my Pilates goal! YAY for me, lol! I get extra points for that.... my grading scale may be off, but it works for me, lol.

Goals for this upcoming week:

• Go to Curves at least twice
• 30 minutes on the Elliptical machine at least 3 times
• Pilates at least 2 times
• Walk - either by lake or on treadmill at least 3 times