Thursday, May 29, 2014

Memos from Jess

Dear Florida Weather,

No. Just no. You and I both know that once you get your summer pants on, they stay on until October (at best) or December (at worst).

Just slow your roll with all the heat and humidity. Be a little subtle, ok?

Too Much Summer Makes Me REALLY Cranky


Dear Disney,

Why did you have to open up the Mine ride when the parks are beginning their peak season? I can't get a FastPass scheduled to save my life.

Spoiled Disney Passholder


Yeah, so you recently got divorced for the 4th time. And, you decided it would be a great idea to get drunk, call me, and beg me to go out with you. In front of a witness.

Seeing as my answer hasn't changed in the 7 1/2 years that we've known one another, I'm not sure if you are insane or just supremely hopeful. Regardless, my answer didn't change this time, either. 

So..... when you decide to try to flirt or be cute or make some innuendo or hint at something, as you do every week or two? It's getting harder and harder to be nice/sensitive about the situation.

Remember when we were both at that party, recently? Remember how I was tipsy and flirty and happy? Remember how none of that was directed toward you, but in fact, to someone else? Yeah, they say that alcohol is a revealer of truths. Take note.

Never Going To Happen


Dear Fashion Industry,

Cropped tops are only cute on about 5% of the population.

The 95%


Dear So You Think You Can Dance,

You make me so happy. I'm so glad you are back.

TV and Dance Junkie


Dear Self,

You have 8, count them, EIGHT weeks before you go on a cruise. Get your lazy self together and do what you need to do to be ready for it.

 Too Many Clothes Don't Fit Right.... Or, At All

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

A Lovely Long Weekend.........

Happy Tuesday, everyone! I hope you had a wonderful long weekend.

I always get a little weird on holidays like Memorial Day. We thanked our friends and family that have served, but then there were a bunch of FB posts about Memorial vs Veterans. I don't know, I feel like any chance to honor our military is what we should do.

Anyway......... I was READY for a long weekend. My job doesn't have any three day weekends between MLK Jr and Memorial, so it is a long stretch. Plus, I'd worked 4 out of the past 7 weekends, so I was a bit done.

This was my "No Work for Three Days" Face on Friday.........

On a whim, the whole family decided to go to Red Robin that night. I'd never been, but now I get the hype. I had the most delicious burger (The Banzai) ever. Also? When there are 11 of us, we are loud. And, annoying. We love us, but I'm sure other people aren't so sure.

Our server's name was Heyzeus. For real........

Saturday was a lay around and veg day. I spent some time in the pool and then I went to see Emma and Abby's dance recital. I love these girls and the rest of their family.........

Sunday was the return of Sunday Funday, as evidenced by my ridiculous brother.......

Yesterday was pretty low-key, as well. We had a late morning and vegged. My mom, Jeff, Trevor, and I went off in search of local yumminess. However, after stopping at four different local places, we found them all closed. We ended up at my FAVORITE BBQ HOLE IN THE WALL EVER........

Went on a mini shopping spree and ended up at Target, where we found the largest spatula that I've ever seen.

That's basically it, folks. Not too overwhelming, but a pretty great Memorial Day weekend, nonetheless.

Sometimes I forget to document the big stuff (as evidenced by my overloaded Draft Folder). But, more than that, I forget to document the everyday. The little moments in life that make for a family, you know?

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Disney World Past.........

 If you have been reading for, well, the slightest length of time, then you know I'm a Central Floridian.... born and bred. I'm also a Central Floridian who has a great love of the House of Mouse

A while ago, this article showed up on Buzzfeed and was quickly shared by all my fellow Disney-loving FB friends. Normally, I would just link to a fun article, but this was too great to just link. Just to be clear.... I did NOT write this. Jessica Probus wrote it and did a really great job.

Also, to be clear..... I'm adding my own thoughts in orange. In no way am I claiming that my thoughts are a part of the original post, are the opinion of Jessica Probus, or the opinion of Buzzfeed.


29 Things You’ll Never See At Disney World Again

It might be a whole new world, but we kinda miss the old one. posted on March 18, 2014, at 11:19 a.m.
Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed

1. PUSH the Talking Trash Can

PUSH the Talking Trash Can
After their contract ran out with the Orlando-based robotics company that made this animatronic trash can, this beloved 19-year-old character will no longer roam Tomorrow-land. The good news is that you’ll never have to walk more than 30 steps to throw your trash away.

True, PUSH isn't around, but there are still some copycat type of trash cans at various places in Disney World. Also true that there are trash cans everywhere.

2. Individual Ride Tickets

When WDW opened in 1971, each ride required a separate ticket, which was not included in the price of admission ($3.75 at the time, which, adjusted for inflation, would be $21.66 today). Each ride was categorized as a letter from A–E depending on the level of excitement. The Carousel was A, Space Mountain was E. Disney’s more thrill-based rides are still referred to by those in the know as “E-Ticket” rides. The ticket prices ranged from 10–90 cents (50 cents–$5 today).
That means for the price of buying one adult ticket in 2014 ($99) you could get admission and 15 tickets to ride Space Mountain. Or 154 rides on Cinderella’s Carousel.

Or, you are a Floridian with an annual pass so you get your money's worth throughout the year. Personally, I'm fine with not having tickets.

3. A Sea of Yellow Mickey Ponchos

A Sea of Yellow Mickey Ponchos
Werner Weiss / Via
When it rained at WDW (which happens every day in Florida), the crowds would be covered in those overpriced plastic bags known as ponchos. The bright yellow ones with the giant Mickey on the back are a thing of the past — the company switched to clear ponchos in 2003.

I'd forgotten about the yellow ponchos until this article, lol. What was funnier was when you were at Sea World or Busch Gardens and a yellow poncho would come out. (Just so you know, we mentally mock people who wear the wrong characters to the wrong parks)

4. “The Making of Me,” a Live-Action Video About Sex and Birth

"The Making of Me," a Live-Action Video About Sex and Birth
In this 15-minute video shown in the Wonders of Life pavilion at EPCOT, host Martin Short pulls a Marty McFly, going back in time to witness his own conception using actual footage from his birth. The pavilion has been closed since 2007, but you can still watch the whole thing on YouTube here.

LOL.... I went to that ride once. Hysterical.

5. Rhea Pearlman as a Time-Traveling Robot

The Timekeeper was a 1992 movie starring Robin Williams (as the first Audio Animatronic) and a robot named 9-Eye ( Pearlman). The film was shown in a 360-degree Circle Vision theater and took the audience on a journey through time, during which a curious Jules Verne is accidentally brought into the future from the 1900 World’s Fair. Wacky hijinks ensue. See snippets of the original film here. Located in Tomorrowland at Magic Kingdom, it has since been replaced by the Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor.

I do not miss this, at all.

6. Powdered Pink Soap in the Bathrooms

Until 2001, all bathrooms at Walt Disney World used powdered pink Borax soap instead of liquid hand soap, which was easier to clean up off the floor. The light pink soap had to be removed after the 9/11-era Anthrax scare.

I don't miss this, either. My hands always felt grimy and unclean after using it.

7. An Aerial Gondola Lift Between Lands

An Aerial Gondola Lift Between Lands
The WDW “Skyway” took guests between Fantasyland and Tomorrowland on a Swiss-designed aerial ropeway. The attraction was closed in 1999 but the towers weren’t removed from the park until 10 years later in 2009 during the renovation of Fantasyland. Rumor has it that the ride was closed for safety reasons after a park employee suffered a fatal fall during maintenance, but the company maintains they had plans to close before the unfortunate incident and the Skyways at Disneyland and Tokyo Disney had already been closed in 1994 and 1998 respectively.

I used to LOVE the Skyway. I'm pretty sure I'd be scared to death to ride in one now, though.

8. The Legitimately Scary Alien Encounter Ride

The Legitimately Scary Alien Encounter Ride
Located in Tomorrowland, this “ExtraTERRORestrial” encounter had everything: Tyra Banks as the pre-show alien host, Tim Curry as a robot, binaural sound effects, total darkness, lasers, animatronic predators, simulated alien tongues, and an exploding monster. One of the few attractions specifically not suited for children under 12, it was replaced with the much tamer but similarly styled Stitch’s Great Escape in 2006.

I always refused to go on this......

9. A Semi-Submerged Submarine Ride

A Semi-Submerged Submarine Ride
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea was a pioneering passenger ride at Magic Kingdom that used underwater animatronics, forced perspective, and bubble machines to make guests believe they were “diving” under the ocean. The “Nautilis” boats had guests sitting below water level looking through portholes at real and mythical aquatic life, including eels, turtles, mermaids, and the lost city of Atlantis. Despite being popular, the ride was closed in 1994 due to high maintenance costs and low capacity.

I only went on this once. The line was always hours long (much like Peter Pan is now), so we just never bothered.

10. This Terrifying Witch

This Terrifying Witch
After “crashing” through a wall in Snow White’s Scary Adventure at Magic Kingdom, guests were faced with this scary animatronic witch. The ride was known during its 41-year existence as a rite of passage for Disney’s youngest guests who were routinely frightened to the point of tears by this cackling hag. It was replaced in 2012 with the Princess Fairytale Hall.

The witch never bothered me and I was a scaredy cat.

11. Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride
Allen Huffman / Via
This stylized cartoon-like ride was based on the Disney version of The Wind in the Willows. The well-loved ride closed in 1998 and was replaced by The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Fun fact: In front of the Haunted Mansion ride there’s a stone in the pet cemetery dedicated to none other than Mr. Toad. The actual grave marker is not easily legible from guest areas but according to park lore, it reads:

I used to love this ride, but I have to admit that I prefer Winnie the Pooh.

12. Mickey and Minnie’s (Separate) Country Houses

Although it’s never been cleared up whether Mickey and Minnie mouse are officially married, until 2012 they maintained separate but equally cartoonish country houses at Magic Kingdom in the since-closed Mickey’s ToonTown Fair area.

First off, I don't think they're married. While cute, I don't really miss these.

13. A 200-Foot Mickey Hand Over Spaceship Earth

A 200-Foot Mickey Hand Over Spaceship Earth
Werner Weiss / Via
The icon tower at EPCOT was originally built as part of the Millennium Celebration. Weighing 500,000 pounds and standing over 257 feet high, it was the tallest structure at the Walt Disney World Resort until it was taken down in 2007.

This was fun.

14. The Spirit of Saudia Arabia, Eritrea, Israel and Easter Island

During the 15-month Millennium Celebration, the Millennium Village pavilion at EPCOT had interactive exhibits from more than 30 countries that weren’t in the permanent World Showcase. The exhibits included fashion, history, and cuisine presented in displays and presentations from international representatives. The pavilion is now an event space used during the Food & Wine festival.

I'm sure I visited this, but I have no recollection.

15. An Island Filled with Lemurs, Galapagos Tortoises and Exotic Birds

An Island Filled with Lemurs, Galapagos Tortoises and Exotic Birds
Discovery Island, located in Bay Lake near the Magic Kingdom resorts, was a zoological park accessible to guests by boat. When it closed in 1999, the animals were moved to sanctuaries at Animal Kingdom. There was a plan at one point to join with the creators of the video game Myst to turn the island into an interactive themed experience, but the idea never went past concept.

I never went to this, but I vaguely remember it. I know people try to sneak on the island (too funny, imo), but I don't see the need for the island as an attraction with Animal Kingdom being around.

16. The World’s Last Dusky Seaside Sparrow

The World's Last Dusky Seaside Sparrow
Located on Discovery Island, Avian Way was home to many species of birds, including the largest community of breeding Scarlet Ibises in the U.S. It was also home to the last known Dusky Seaside Sparrow in the world, known as “Orange Band,” who died in 1987. The species was officially declared extinct in 1990.



17. A Waterslide Using Real Lake Water

A Waterslide Using Real Lake Water
Opened in 1978, River Country was a rustic “watering hole”-themed water park that used filtered water from nearby Bay Lake. In 2001 when brain-eating amoebas were found in several Florida lakes, the park was permanently closed. It has since been abandoned.

I'm sure they'll do something with this, eventually. Florida is hot enough that they can always use another water park.


18. Minnie Moo

Minnie Moo
Minnie Moo was a Holstein cow from Minnesota with a distinct Mickey-shaped spot. She was brought to Magic Kingdom, where she lived at Grandma’s Duck Barn until she died in 2000.

Yeah........ Minnie Moo once licked my mouth.


19. Human Body Probes

Human Body Probes
Body Wars was a simulator ride in the Wonders of Life pavilion where guests were “miniaturized” by a futuristic science company to be able to enter the human body for the purpose of treatment and diagnostics. Similar to Star Tours, this ride was one of the earlier and more jerky simulators at the park. The attraction was closed in 2007.

Hahahaha.... We went to EPCOT as a field trip in the 6th grade and going on this was one of our assignments. 


20. A Giant Pink Candy-Covered Castle

A Giant Pink Candy-Covered Castle
For the 25th anniversary of Magic Kingdom in 1996, Cinderella’s Castle was transformed into a giant birthday cake. It took over 400 gallons of pink paint to transform the 18-story structure, which included 20-foot candles, 5-foot gummy bears, 5-foot gumdrops, 6-foot Life Savers, 3-foot lollipops, and 2-foot gum balls. The icing was inflatable, and it covered more than 1,000 feet until 1998, when the castle was restored to normal.

This was super fun. I had a couple of shirts with the birthday castle on it and may still have a keychain. As fun as this was, I do prefer the castle in its original glory.


21. A Castle Covered in Toilet Paper

A Castle Covered in Toilet Paper
On Nov. 16, 2004, Cinderella’s Castle was covered in toilet paper and graffiti for the grand opening of Stitch’s Great Escape.

I'm sure this was a treat to clean up.


22. Dancing Anthropomorphic Produce

Dancing Anthropomorphic Produce
Food Rocks, located in EPCOT’s The Land, was a “mock rock concert that delivered nutritional messages to guests and was hosted by Füd Wrapper, inspired by the rapper Ton Loc.” It has since been replaced by the popular Soarin’ ride.

Soarin' is better. Trust me on this.


23. Double-decker Bus Service

Steve Tanner /
Werner Weiss /
At EPCOT, these buses served as transportation between the World Showcase and Future world. They stopped carrying guests in the mid-1990s, but the special decorated red bus on the right still takes characters around for a mini-parade.

I do wish this service would come back. That stinking lake is really big.

24. A Tamer Mission to Space

A Tamer Mission to Space
Chris Bales / Via
Before it was Alien Encounter, the Magic Kingdom space was occupied by Mission to Mars. This ride was the primitive version of the current Mission: SPACE, just without all the NASA-generated centrifuge simulators…or the deaths.

I think I went on this once..... I've never been on Mission: SPACE.


25. A Parade with 600,000 Miniature Lights

A Parade with 600,000 Miniature Lights
The SpectroMagic parade at Magic Kingdom, featuring elaborate, brightly lit floats of Disney characters and scenes, ran until 2010. The wildly popular score by composers John Debney and Steve Skorija featured Disney music arranged into a 14-minute suite, which can be purchased on compact disc here.

I mean, I loved SpectroMagic and the score. However, I like the Electric Parade just as much. Buzzfeed is reaching on this one, imo.


26. Keel Boats Named Gullywhumper and Bertha Mae

Keel Boats Named Gullywhumper and Bertha Mae
Werner Weiss / Via
These boats, featured in Disney’s Davey Crockett shows, were a B-ticket ride that took guests on a trip around Tom Sawyer Island. After one of the boats capsized in 1997, the attraction was closed, and one boat was sold for $15,000 on eBay. The other boat was installed on Tom Sawyer Island as a prop.

I don't even remember this. We always took the rafts.


27. Scale Replica Facades of the Golden Girls and Empty Nest House

Scale Replica Facades of the Golden Girls and Empty Nest House
The shows were produced by Touchstone Pictures, a subsidiary of Disney, and many of the houses were used for external shots during some or all of the show seasons. They were also a big stop on the Backlot Tour, before being demolished in 2003 and replaced with the Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show.

I REALLY miss this one. I personally can't stand the stunt show. Over the years, they would add some and it was just neat to see.


28. A Cartoon-Themed Lingerie Shop

A Cartoon-Themed Lingerie Shop
Photograph © Copyright 2008 Matthew C. Gallagher / Via
Jessica’s of Hollywood was a lingerie store at Disney’s Pleasure Island named for Jessica Rabbit of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. The store closed in 1992, but the neon sign with the swinging leg was used on the Planet Hollywood sign until 1996.

LOL.... As I was 9 when the store closed, I don't remember it being a lingerie shop. I do remember the sign, though.


29. Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake Filming the All New Mickey Mouse Club

Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake Filming the All New Mickey Mouse Club
The 1990s reboot of the once popular Mickey Mouse Club was filmed at Walt Disney Studios in Lake Buena Vista, Fla. Mousketeers included Britney Spears, Chrsitina Aguilera, Keri Russell, Ryan Gosling, Justin Timberlake, and JC Chasez. The show was canceled because merchandise wasn’t selling and the producers felt the cast wasn’t talented enough to carry the show.

I *ADORED* MMC. In fact, my mom was going to let me audition when I was old enough, but they cancelled the show. Just think...... I could have grown up next to Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake. Two of my most favorite males ever.

29 Things You'll Never See At Disney World Again

Bye forever.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Sorry, I'm Not Sorry.....

I just ran across Crystal Michelle's link-up. Only, this week's topic is parenting. I'm not a parent, so I'll do my own little "Sorry, Not Sorry"......

 photo sorryimnotsorry_zps9a2b99f7.jpg

Sorry, I'm Not Sorry..... that I watched 'Grey's Anatomy' last night and cried a couple times. Especially when they "danced it out." Shonda Rimes did such a brilliant job of calling back to some Cristina/Meredith-isms that dated back to the very first season. Loved it.

Sorry, I'm Not Sorry..... that I got a little giddy when I saw the preview for a new SR show coming this Fall.

Sorry, I'm Not Sorry.... that I'm such a TV junkie that my first three are about TV.

Sorry, I'm Not Sorry.... that FD requested to follow me on Twitter, so I went back to delete mentions/convos of him from the past year before accepting his request. Let's just hope that he doesn't decide to go back any further that that because there are probably some doozies.

Sorry, I'm Not Sorry..... that the weather in Florida today has me positively GIDDY. It's in the 60s right now with no humidity and a nice breeze. I want to just be outside.

Sorry, I'm Not Sorry.... that I've done absolutely nothing productive at work today. It's just one of those "Brain Is Tired, Must Not Turn On" days.

Have a great weekend!!!