Thursday, February 28, 2013

Mean Thoughts From A (Mostly) Nice Girl

I try to be a nice person. I really do. I don't ever want to intentionally or unintentionally hurt someone.

That being said, I'm naturally a sarcastic person with a slightly biting view on things. I usually save those comments for my family (ie, mainly Heidi) because she appreciates them for what they are and knows that I don't really mean to be mean. Because, generally, I *LIKE* people. I appreciate them for who they are.... and, my offbeat thoughts/comments really, truly are me embracing their quirks.

God has a major sense of humor.

Like, major.

Because, this girl who I haven't even seen in a couple of years got a job for an organization in which my job is closely related. And, we are each other's direct contacts.

Funny, God.

Her predecessor was someone I adored, both professionally and personally. So, imagine my dismay and then horror when I found out that 1) she was leaving and 2) she was leaving me with THE GHOST.

We had a meeting, today. Face-to-face. And, we're both professional..... or mature.... or fake.... however you want to look at it.... enough to put a smile on our faces, go through the pleasantries, and act as though the past hasn't happened.

In reality, the past doesn't matter. We aren't friends. We don't stay in touch. We do not affect each other's life and overall happiness. But, there was an underlying awkward.

And, in my head, there were not nice observations and thoughts. Ones that I'm not extremely proud of. 

Like, when last year I found out she was engaged and had the moment of "How in the HELL is she engaged before me?!?!"

Today, my eyes went directly to her ring finger and I felt slightly smug that there wasn't one there, anymore. 

Again, not proud. But, real.

Here's the good thing. Amongst the ten minute meeting (not only did she seem a bit on the nervous side, but she was quick about getting out of there), I did realize something.

I'm not intimidated by her, anymore.

And, despite my not-so-nice thoughts, I really just don't care, anymore. She doesn't bother me, like she used to bother me.

Because, after the knee-jerk reaction of smugness, I felt bad for her. In a "crap.... whatever caused that ring to go from being there to not being there was probably sad" way. And, again, after seeing HER reaction to ME, it sort of hit me that she's had a lot of ups and downs over the past couple of years. And, her wins, losses, and everything in between aren't for me to judge.

Clearly, I need to work on some heart issues with my mean thoughts..... However, the meeting and my observations ended up helping me turn a corner in my way of thinking about this particular ghost.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

43 Reasons....

If you have been reading for, well, the slightest length of time, then you know I'm a Central Floridian.... born and bred.

Last week, this article showed up on Buzzfeed and was quickly shared by all my fellow Floridian FB friends. Normally, I would just link to a fun article, but this was too great to just link. Just to be clear.... I did NOT write this. Jessica Misener wrote it and did a really great job.

Also, to be clear..... I'm adding my own thoughts in orange. In no way am I claiming that my thoughts are a part of the original post, are the opinion of Jessica Misener, or the opinion of Buzzfeed.

Two words: FUN NOODLES.

1. You learned to swim before you could walk.

~ True. I remember going to swimming lessons every summer, but I already knew how to swim. It was more a precaution.... a reminder. Seriously, I don't remember ever NOT knowing how to swim. Babies in pools are pretty much a requirement in Florida and if they know how to crawl, they need to be taking "swimming survival lessons."

2. You were brought up correctly into the true religion of Publix subs.

~ Publix, anything, really. Honey-pressed subs are the best. Except for the holidays when The Holiday Sub comes back. I'm not kidding.... when The Holiday Sub reappears, text messages and FB statuses abound.

3. And you got free cookies at the Publix bakery just because you were a kid!

~ Publix cookies are amazing. Especially the chocolate chip cookies or the sugar cookies with sprinkles. It is a sad day when the Publix bakery lady thinks you are too old for a free cookie. It is a happy day when you take a child (Lydia) who doesn't finish the cookie.

4. By now, the Stingray Shuffle is second nature.

~ I don't think about it and haven't for years. It is amusing, though, to explain to a non-Floridian that they can't pick up their feet and walk normally in the ocean.

5. Your driving test was a joke, and you probably didn't even have to parallel park.

~ I did not have to parallel park. And, while there are areas of my town that have parallel parking, I can't do it. I will say that the girl who took the test after me, failed.

6. And you NEVER had to drive in the snow.

~ Not only that, but I've only seen snow fall from the sky once.

7. Hurricanes don't even make you flinch.

~ Anything less than a Cat 4 is child's play, really.

8. Field trips to the swamp were actually kind of cool.

~ We had swamp bordering two sides of my school, so we didn't have to take a field trip. We just had science class outside. Though, we did take a SUPER fun field trip to the Withlacoochee Forest in the 6th grade. 

9. School footwear:

~ Public schools don't allow flip flops now, but they used to. My school did and still does (for secondary).

10. Going-out footwear:

~ Yes.

11. Dressy footwear:

~ Don't forget church footwear, also.

12. You could spend hours in one of these.

~ As long as I have the spray suntan lotion in the chair with me.

13. This was your winter coat.

~ That exact one. And, one in blue.

14. Two words: FUN NOODLES.

~ You don't even need the floating chair, if you have 3 or 4 fun noodles.

15. You didn't have to be rich to have a pool.

~ No one in my family was rich. We all had pools. If you had a pool AND a hot tub, then you were getting somewhere.

16. Hurricane days!

~ More importantly, Hurricane Parties!!!

17. You petted one of these on a field trip.

~ Multiple times. In fact, I petted one last year.

18. You got to go to Disney Grad Nite. (RIP)

~ Ironically, this one DOESN'T apply. I went to Disney, plenty, but not Grad Night. My school didn't participate.

19. After every wave, you knew you got to watch the coquinas bury themselves in the sand.

~ Yeppers.

20. Every Friday and Saturday night: the outdoor mall and a movie.

~ To this day, lol. In high school, my friends would eat dinner at this one particular place and then walk across the parking lot to the movie theatre.

21. You knew exactly where you and your friends could hang out until late at night.

~ We didn't have a Perkins, but yes. More importantly, we knew where NOT to hang out until late at night.

22. You conquered the Montu.

~ Five times in a row. True story.

23. Slow drivers don't faze you, because you're used to going 30 behind a huge Cadillac with Ohio plates.

~ I'm used to it, but it does annoy me at certain times of the day. Also? The guy behind me, tailgating and flashing his lights because he can't see that blue hair is in front of me? REALLY pisses me off.

24. Got a date? You knew exactly where to go.

~ Putt-putt golf is an old standby. In fact, it's like one of the safest dates ever. PS - I have been to that exact course more than once.

25. An acceptable dinner:

~ Banana Split Blizzard with Heath Bar is dairy, fruit, and dessert all wrapped in one.

26. You got to spend most of third grade learning about these.

~ Yep. And, American Indians. Specifically, Seminoles and Cherokees.

27. You didn't have to wear a big coat over your Halloween costume...because it was still 90 degrees outside.

~ Slutty costumes abound on Halloween. Half because of the slut factor and half because it's really hot most October 31st.

28. You got used to these just chilling everywhere.

~ Like pigeons are to NYC.

29. Learning to plot hurricanes was an actual elementary school lesson.

~ As are hurricane and tornado drills are actual drills, at least once per quarter.

30. Every school pizza party:

~ And, then, everyone would fight over the garlic butter.

31. You got to freak northern people out by revealing you'd never seen snow.

~ Still have only seen it fall from the sky once.

32. You laughed when people bought these at shell stores, because you already have a bunch you found (already dead, of course).

~ I will never understand people who BUY sand dollars. Get them at the beach. Dry them out. Bleach them. Dry them again.

33. Shell stores.

~ We have them, but I still don't understand why people frequent them.

34. You and your family knew EXACTLY which side you were on.

~ Orange and Blue, baby. Orange and Blue. I am seriously afraid that I might fall in love with a Nole.

35. You knew you didn't need snow to make it *feel* like Christmas.

~ It infuriates me when people say that it can't be a real Christmas in Florida. As Heidi found out this year and noted several times, "You people in Florida REALLY know how to celebrate Christmas!" We have parades, parades, and more parades. Decorations everywhere. Christmas trees in the middle of the lakes. ICE! at Gaylord Palms. Disney at Christmas time...... Wonderful.

36. You had a drawer for your regular shorts and a drawer for your nice shorts.

~ And, we had/have our regular flip flops and our nice flip flops.

37. This was your family's idea of a good time.

~ It is not MY family's idea of a good time, but I know a lot of people who love it.

38. Someone you knew had one of these in their yard.

~ I had these in my backyard of one of my houses, as a kid. And, a kumkwat tree.

39. It takes a REALLY big bug to gross you out after growing up with lizards, dragonflies, snakes, alligators, and fire ants.

~ Roaches. Or, Palmetto Bugs. Those suckers get huge in Florida. And, they fly.

40. You could play outside all year round.

~ We can. In fact, we do.

41. You're tough with burns, because you've touched one of these after it sat in a Florida parking lot for hours.

~ Worse. Sitting on leather seats in a car with shorts on.

42. You were always tan, just from walking to and from your house.

~ Nope. I burn. It takes all summer of me wearing SPF 50 for me to get tan.

43. And of course, the best part about being a Florida kid:

~ YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Monday Musings

Today is February 25th. My birthday is August 25th.

That means in six months, I will be 30.

I'm a little scared.


Can I just saw how delightful I find Jennifer Lawrence?

She cracks me up and I think she's so "regular" pretty.


Yesterday was the Disney Princess Half-Marathon.

My plan (barring Radiothon being the same week like it was this year... more on that later) is to participate next year.

Anyone want to run with me? How much fun would a Blogger run at Disney World be?!

And, yes, I'm starting to train, already.


Seth MacFarlane was an ok Oscar host. However, I feel the need to get this off my chest.....

I didn't think 'Ted' was funny. 

With the exception of a few funny lines, I thought it was a waste of two hours.


We got 'Monsters, Inc' on DVD for Lydia to watch.

It is a cute movie. However, that scream extractor machine is barbaric.

I must have blocked that part out, because it scared the crap out of me when I watched it this weekend. 

Um, we're talking about a machine that will basically suck all the air out of the child. It would have KILLED them.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Sunday Social

Sunday Social

1. What was your biggest middle school fashion mistake?

Oh, dear heaven's..... the fashion mistakes. There were a ton of them.

My bangs were pretty horrific. 

I was SUPER into sunflowers, which were in, but looking back I took it way too far. Also, remember those t-shirts that you got at the mall that had pictures of nature and animals on them? A portion of the shirts went to some sort of nature charity. Anyway, I loved those and really had too many.

Proof that I was never destined to be a middle school fashion expert (oh, the awful bangs).....

2. Who were your best friends in high school? Pics?

My best friends were Meg, Ash, Shannon, and Mich. I'm still close with them today (thought Mich lives too far away and I never get to see her).

Me (this was when I decided to grow out the bangs), Michelle, Shannon, Ashley, and Meg on our Senior Trip to Honduras.

A couple of years ago.....

3. What was a typical weekend like for you in high school?

During Basketball season, it involved cheering at games. We traveled all over Central Florida to cheer for those boys.

Other times of the year, we would all go the movies. Pretty much every single weekend.

4. Did you have any boyfriends/girlfriends? Tell us about that.

I was in love with my best friend (sound familiar?). He decided by our Junior Year that he was never going to really feel the same way and started dating this girl who is now his wife.

5. Did you have any secret codes with your friends? Spill your secrets!

The one major code was the Teeth Check. After every meal, we would smile and check each other's teeth. "Good." was the only answer necessary. The funny part was when others were around and wondered why were randomly smiling. We still do this when we eat together.

The other code was for notes. My friend Meg and I had nicknames for certain people that we would then shorten to just initials........ Now that I think about it, this is probably the origin of me using FD (Fun Distraction), TG (The Guy), BSG (Brown Shirt Girl), etc when I blog.

Anyway, we had these names and we also sat in a couple of the same desks for different classes. In Mr. E's Science class, I sat in the first row, second chair in 6th period.... she sat there in 2nd period. So, we would stick notes under the desk that only we could decode. The fun part was when the people that also sat in those seats caught on (as well as the teacher) and they would try to figure out who we were talking about, lol. 

I'll never forget Mr. E and the guys that sat in front of and behind me one day declaring, "They aren't even talking about people at this school! There is NO ONE with the initials WT here! This is a waste of time."

What they never realized that WT stood for Willow Tree..... as in one of our best guy friends, Phillip. One particular week, he was in a seriously grumpy mood and we told him that he was acting like he had a huge Willow Tree up his butt. Thus began a nickname that went on for years and was a perfect code for notes, lol.

6. If you could relive one day/moment/experience from middle school or high school, what would it be?

I really had a great high school experience. My times with my friends and cheerleading were the best.

I wouldn't go back, though.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Convos with TG

You guys may not really care (or enjoy) my Convos with TG..... However, they crack me up.

Like my text exchanges with Heidi, TG and I literally just fall into these weird banters. And, they make me laugh. Mainly because no matter what or when I text him, he will have some sort of retort.

So, without further ado...................

The One Where Jess Was Tipsy..... Even While She Was Texting

The One Where Jess Gets Worried About The Asian Children In Cirque Du Soleil

Disclaimer: I actually did wonder about the kids and was concerned that night. And, the day after. Truly, this is how my mind works. Please know that any off-color remarks about living in closets were not to be taken seriously..... or, how we feel about Asia or Asians.

Also, he never calls me Jessica. Only when he is being an absolute smartass.

The One Where Jess And TG Gossip

The One Where Jess Has An Incompetent Intern

Disclaimer: I do not plan on actually shooting my intern. Or, anyone else.