Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Joys of Online Dating.....

If you have read over the past few weeks, you know that I have finally broken down and am forcing myself to try M*tch.c*m.

I'm still pretty pissed at FD for this.

Anyway.... If you follow me on Twitter, you know that the past several Tuesdays have been "Coffee Date Tuesdays." Basically, the guys that have shown an interest in meeting me in person have been directed to a certain Starbucks in town. I figure that if I meet enough there, I can make friends with the baristas.... not only might I get a few free Trenta Iced Green Teas, but we can work out a system. Like, if I make a certain motion, they know to save me.

I'm half kidding.

This Tuesday, I do not have any coffee scheduled. I'm actually a bit relieved. I kind of need a break.

So, today, I'm going to talk about a few that haven't made the cut. Next Tuesday, I'll do a breakdown on the ones I've met.

Hey, if I'm going to do this, I might as well get some blog material out of it, right?

Non-Bachelor #1

This guy's profile was great. We live in the same town. He's a great height. At a glance, seemed like a great match.

Oh, except for that whole "Separated" word next to his relationship status.

I moved on, but he ended up emailing me. He was open about the fact that he is currently going through a divorce. I emailed him back and told him that I'd love for him to contact me once he can say he's legally divorced.

So, then, he emails me back to say that he understands, but that his wife is a lying cheat and that he has no intentions of ever reconciling with her.

There were a few reasons that I just decided not to respond to that.

Non-Bachelor #2

This guy out of Orlando emails me out of the blue. No joke, this is how the emails went.....

Him: "Hey! You have a captivating smile. Let me know if you want to hang sometime."

Me: "Thank you for the compliments! I hope you are having a great week."

Him: "So are you going to watch the game or the fight tonight?"

Me: "I'm sorry. I don't know which game or fight to which you are referring, lol."

Him: "The basketball game or the UFC fight. Call or text me.... 407-xxx-xxxx."

Please forgive me for being picky, but if you notice, I never actually got his name.

Non-Bachelor #3

So, at first, I was kind of excited about this one. Out of pure vanity, really. He was super good-looking. And, he seemed interesting in his profile.

And then, he started out his emails by wanting my number. I asked if he'd be ok just emailing a little before doing the whole number exchange thing.

His response? "Don't take this personal, but why do girls not want to give out their numbers? Email is so sterile... what happened to a good ole fashioned phone call?"

My response? "No offense taken.... and, if we had met in real life, I'd totally agree. However, I'm uncomfortable handing out my number to a bunch of virtual strangers, so I'd like to try to email first. If we'd met in public and chatted, you'd at some point be able to choose to ask for my number or not.... and, I would choose to give it to you or not. We met online, so I'd like to try to get to know one another online, initially."

His response? "Yeah, I get your reasons, but I don't have time to spend on the internet all day."

Ummmmmmmmm...... then why are you on an INTERNET dating site?

Non-Bachelor #4

I talked about him a bit, yesterday.

Basically, he opened up with the fact that he'd spent his week (last week) volunteering on a presidential campaign and thought we could volunteer together. 

Yeah, I'm not all that gung-ho about politics. That's not my idea of a fun date.

Plus, he was campaigning for a candidate that I pray doesn't win, so there's that.

There, sadly, have been others..... like getting matched up with my creepy ex-coworker.... but, those rank at the top of the weirdo scale.


Melissa said...

Oh, Jess! I feel your pain. I wish I'd blogged my stories. Only one made it to an actual date & he was wayyy too desperate! Saying "You are the one for me - you are my soul mate" is just too much too soon on the first meet up! LOL! And asking to kiss me!!

But there was another guy or two i talked a lot to online & one of them was PISSED when my husband came back into my life! I was honest w/ him about Brad b/c i wanted him to stop emailing me - i had found the one - no reason to keep talking to any of these guys. He tried to convince me that my husband is NOT the one just b/c he was an ex-boyfriend. Which normally i would say getting back w/ an ex is not such a good idea but this was a guy i knew my whole life! Geez.

I'm so with you! I would have been turned off by all of these things!

LWLH said...

Oh goodness....I agree, this is def. good blog material.

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