Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Anatomy of a Zumba Class

I *heart* my Zumba class.

I've mentioned it before, several times, but I seriously love it.

R is an amazing teacher. We all love her.

So much so that we line up outside the classroom no less than 15 minutes before the class starts.

Some, I suspect, take the class before Zumba just so they can already be in the classroom when the doors open. I'm not even kidding.

As soon as the door opens, it. is. on.

Women take their shoes off and leave them at their spot, so they can put their belongings on the outskirts of the room without losing their spot.

People actually do the "split stand" so no one will grab a spot too close to them.

The jerks try to form their own row in between two established rows, while the established rows try to edge them out.

The regulars have their preferred spot and they are vicious about it.

The newbies come in and try to figure out where they can see the front, without actually being in the front.

Smiling R bounces in, greeting everyone, and telling newbies to feel free to come towards the front.... the regulars smile and hope they don't.

THEN the class begins and the personalities come out. While the players may change up, the roles are always filled.............

The Big White Girl - There is always a big white girl who keeps up and shakes what her mama gave her.

The Performer - There is always a chick who spends the entire class looking at herself in the mirror, making faces, and putting on a show.

The Worker - No matter how hard R works and pushes, there is always someone that goes harder and faster than her. Like they're on speed or something.

The Lost - There are several of these. Enough said.

The Singers - Over half the songs are Spanish. Which means 90% of the class doesn't understand what in the heck they're dancing to. They must be awesome songs, though, because there is always a couple ladies singing at the top of their lungs.

The Fun and Carefree - With wild abandon, they dance and work and just have fun. Sometimes they look good, sometimes they don't..... really, though, they just don't care.

The Flat Butt - This one can shake everything, but her poor flat behind. Hips sway and pop, shoulders shimmy, body rolls......... the booty? The booty just is too flat to make much of an impact. This may or may not be me. Allegedly. You haven't seen it, so you can't testify to it in a court of law.

The Washing Machine - Goes in dry, comes out soaked. I'm talking water on the floor, the spin cycle clearly didn't work, soaked.

The Call It A Day - It never fails. Every single class, there is at least one (usually more) that walk out of class halfway into it.

The Bouncers - There are a few men that are characters. They've taken to flanking R on either side, at the front of the room. It's actually really amusing.

The Non-Flexible - At cool down, several ladies leave. I don't get this. It's not good for you to skip stretching, but they just won't do it.

After the hour is over, we all walk out. Worn out, but a part of the exclusive club that is R's Zumba. We know the truth. She rocks better than any other Zumba instructor. We survived and challenge you to try to do the same.


Linda said...

I hear you! I heart my Zumba instructors too.

mrsashcake said...

sounds funny.. pretty sure i'd be in "the lost" category! haha

Lil' Woman said...

My work just started offering this...I wanna try!

Anonymous said...

I think I would be "the big white girl" in a little white girl's body, lol.

Gina said...

I'm The Lost. Not gonna lie.

Brittany Ann said...

Tee hee! This kills me. Because dude, there are these exact same peeps in my step classes. Love it!