A while back, I posted about being forgotten. I'd been hurt and was having a hard time dealing with it.
Since then, things with the parties that were involved have been fine. Absolutely fine.
However, I do think that situation changed me, a little.
Like I said in that original post......... I'm typically the caller, texter, emailer, FBer. With about 95% of my relationships, I'm the one that does the planning and making sure it actually happens. On more than one occasion, various friends have said, "Jess, you're so good. If it weren't for you, we probably would never see or talk to each other."
And, they mean it as a compliment. And, I usually take it as such.
Recently though, I've been having a difficult time accepting all of this. It's like I'm tired of being taken for granted. And, trust me....... I know I'm not blameless. I am sure that I take certain people for granted and I've really tried to step it up.... to let them know I care and appreciate.
Let me pause here............ if you are a Blogger, I'm not intending this for you. And, if you're Meg, I'm not intending this for you, either.
Over the past couple months, I've been at war with myself. There are certain people in my life that I've realized will never put forth the effort that I will. They are great people. In fact, they are some of the people that I love more than anyone on the face of the planet. They have been there for me when I asked them to be there.
Recently, though, I've found myself reaching out and either being ignored or brushed off. At first, I did what I usually do......... kept reaching out, just so they knew I was there and I cared.
Then, I eventually found myself stopping. I got brushed off one time too many and subconsciously just stopped reaching out. Not because I was mad, but because I felt like I was being a bother and didn't want to pester them.
Then, my birthday came around. I got FB wall posts from these certain people, wishing me a happy birthday. Which was very nice. However, I'm a firm believer that the most important people in my life are "FB Wall AND........" worthy.
But, this year? A FB wall post.
No call. No text. No e-card.
A FB wall post.
That was it.
And, that's when I got a little angry.
Because, it hit me that a month had gone by and we hadn't talked. Meaning, a month had gone by and they didn't realize that they missed me. Meaning, how many months before that would they have not called had I not been the one to reach out to them?
I'm probably going to sound a bit narcissistic when I say this, but.........
I deserve more than a freaking FB wall post from the people I love the most.
And, if a FB wall post is all they think to do? Then, maybe it's time to evaluate who I love the most.
For the past couple of weeks, I've been pretty internal. I really haven't been speaking to anyone outside of the people I see everyday. I've been processing everything. Because, the fact is, I *do* love these people. I really, truly do. And, if they needed me at 3am? I would be there for them, in a nanosecond. I always will.
But, it's time to stop being taken for granted.
It's time to stop taking for granted the people who don't take me for granted. Those are the people that I should be calling, texting, emailing, and spending my energy on.
Last night, I decided to take a walk. It was really nice outside.
As I was walking, I started thinking about several people that I haven't heard from, lately. And, how I missed them.
So, I started calling. I started doing the "Just calling to say Hi and that I hope you're well" thing.
I did feel better. It had been a while since I've done that. And, that's me. I like just reaching out. 99% of the time, I don't expect a call/text back. I don't get hurt or upset when they don't respond.
Eventually, though, you do have to start recognizing where people are in your life and which burner they need to be in your life.