You are 28. You are not a 14 year old boy.
How about obeying the great cleansing process I put you through and clearing up?
Tired of gross skin
Is there any way that I could multiply you? Like, for every minute, it feels like three?
I am so glad that business is good.
However, if there is anyway that you could stop being so crazy before the beginning of June, I'd appreciate it.
Need An Asst.... Or A Raise
I love you.
Proud IPhone 4S Owner
I wasn't talking to you. Then, I drank a bit of wine over the weekend and I stopped caring that I was mad at you.
Hence, the texts.
You aren't off the hook, just yet. You'd be wise to remember that.
Wine Is Your Friend
Dear Rear End,
I'm going to kick you into shape, if it's the last thing I do.
Smaller Size Wanted
Dear Stomach and Waist,
Talk to your neighbor downstairs.
Taking No Prisoners