Monday, September 29, 2014

Saga of TG: New Chapter

Some of you may have seen this on IG. Most of you probably don't care. And, all of you are probably like, "Wait, why are we still talking about him?"

But, this has always been my place to document my life, so I'm going to share.

The Guy came to town last week. If you recall, it's been five years since he's moved and almost two years since he's been back. Ironically, this past Friday (the day he got here and I first saw him) was one year to the day since I found out that he was having a baby.

As I said in the baby post, I'd long ago given up hope or really wanting anything with him. I really had stopped thinking that we were ever going to be anything but friends. But, when I found out in such a harsh way that he was having a baby, it brought back ALL those things I once wanted and never got. It took some time to process. And, the hurt took a bit to get over.

Eventually, I did. Eventually, we started talking again. And, about 5 or 6 months ago, I was talking with him on the phone (we usually text once every 2-4 weeks, sometimes more and sometimes less.... and, we usually chat on the phone every couple months) and when I got off the phone, it hit me. I was COMPLETELY over him. Like, I was happy to catch up, but it just dawned on me that I'd healed.

Eight and a half years ago, he literally walked into a room and changed my world. It sounds dramatic, but he did. I've learned, I've grown, I've had my heart broken, I've healed, and I've really learned what unconditional love is because of this man.

It's been a LONG time coming. A really long time. But, it finally came. I think it happened gradually, but I just stopped being "in love." I still adore him and he still means the world to me, but my heart strings were cut.

Then, I found out he was coming to town. As excited as I was to see him, I was a little nervous. After all, it's really easy to think you are over someone when they live three states away. We chatted a couple times about his visit. We knew we would see each other at the station (he was coming into town for some business), but he still said that we needed to get together outside of that. I was feeling the excitement you feel when your best friend or favorite relative is coming for a visit..... but, I was still worried that I'd slip back into old habits when I actually saw him.

Friday morning, I went into the station and he was already there. He was sitting in on one of the talk shows and during a break I went in to say Hi. Cue him looking at me, "HEY! It's you!" and jumping up to give me a big hug. In between going on different stations and doing interviews, he basically claimed his old spot in my office to chill. We got to chat a little, but it was busy and a lot of people were coming in to talk with him. It was just really fun/weird to have him back in his old stomping grounds, which are still my stomping grounds. In some ways, it felt like he still belongs here and in other ways, it was so weird.

I invited him to go to HHN with me and some friends that night. He wanted to, but didn't end up going at the last minute. His mom was also in town and wanted him to hang out with her, lol. So, we made plans to meet up for breakfast Saturday morning.

We did meet up for breakfast and though it was quick (he had a speaking engagement to get to), we still had a good time. Like always, we basically talk about everything and nothing. 45 minutes later, he had to rush out, we grabbed a quick pic (because the one from the day before was blurry), he gave me a hug, and told me, "See you later, you."

That was pretty much it. I went about my day and the rest of my weekend. We shot quick texts to one another last night.

Meanwhile, I had a bunch of people being super concerned. It was sweet, but funny. My poor BIL saw a picture of him on FB and cautiously asked my sister if I knew he was in town. My sister, fearing that he had a death wish and didn't tell me he was in town, texted my cousin to make sure I knew. My cousin was aware that all was well, lol.

I also had people doing "check ins" to make sure I was emotionally ok. So, I have spent the last few days explaining to everyone that I am, in fact, over him. There were no heart flutters at the sight of him, there was no tears or overwhelming sadness when he was gone.....

Simply put, I've moved on.

He is still one of my favorite people in the world. I will always care about him and his well-being. However, I can definitely, without a doubt say that I do not feel that way about him anymore.

As I told my Ninny, "Look, I will never say never. Who knows what God has in store for me. However, God has taken that desire out of my heart. For years, I've prayed that if TG wasn't in HIS plan for me to take the desire out and He finally did."

So, friends, it's been a long road, but I can say there is a new chapter in the story of The Guy. "Friends for Real"

Again, you may have seen this on IG. But, since all of this started on this little blog o mine and you've spent years reading about my seemingly-neverending-love, I thought at least one picture was owed of this previously nameless, faceless man.......

The Guy and I

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