There's good..... I promise. It just comes after the bad.
Edited to add.......... This is long and sappy. And, sad for me. I almost didn't post it, but I needed to... for me, more than anything. Feel free to skip this post.
Also edited to add.... in case they don't read this.... Thanks, Heidi, Meg, Mia, Jeni, Billie Jo, Leslie, Mary, and Mom.
A week ago, things were going really well. Our owner's birthday was Monday the 24th, so we had a huge potluck lunch. I secretly pretended the festivities were also for me, since my birthday was the next day, lol. "The Guy" and I were having fun with everything.... he was being him and I was kind of calling him out in front of everyone.... they all thought it was funny. It was just a really good day.
Towards the end of the day, I went to go say "Hi" to Mary. TG was talking with her.... they changed conversations when I walked up, we chatted lightly, and then TG said he had to go talk to our boss. I continued talking with Mary for a few minutes, then had to go take care of something in my office. TG came by a few minutes later, being all cute... he stuck his head in my office, "What are you smiling at?" He was being really cute, so I responded, "You. What are you smiling at?" He winked and left.
I finished up what I was doing and went back to Mary's cubicle. They were talking. I barely got to her cubicle when he blurts out, "I'm leaving."
I've summarized the conversation in my earlier post. It took a lot of convincing from him for me to believe him. He got a job in Minnesota and was leaving. Now, despite my shock, we *had* talked about it. I knew he was looking and sending out resumes. He was constantly telling me about Promotions jobs all over the country that he saw online. The thing is, both of us said in almost every conversation about him looking for another job, "Seriously, though, what are the odds? With all the out of work people in radio.... it probably won't happen."
Well, it did, unfortunately. He spent the next hour telling us about it. He kept saying over and over that we would have to come visit...."You'll have a place to come when you take a vacation."
I got onto him about lying to me, lol. He was supposed to be visiting his parents the previous weekend.... he was really in Minnesota on his final interview. "I couldn't say anything until I knew something, for sure. I couldn't tell you."
After he finally left, I burst into tears, lol. Poor Mary. She said, "Well, I can't say I'm exactly surprised. I've seen the two of you together.... the thought has passed through my head that there might be more than just friendship between the two of you. However, when he told you and I saw your face, I knew it was worse than I could ever have imagined."
I spent a lot of time that night talking with some great friends...... they were so supportive.
The next day was my birthday. I tried to pretend that everything was cool. Chicken couldn't tell me to my face, "Happy Birthday." He left me a voice message on my desk phone.... then, came into my office to see if I'd checked my messages, lol. Then, he left a cute note on my Facebook.
That night, we spent an hour and a half on Facebook. See, we do that. Whenever we can't say something to each other's face, we say it on Facebook or IM or text message. It's a flaw in our relationship, lol. Mostly, it was silliness and sarcasm, mixed in with moments of This is what I want you to know.
Wednesday morning, he came in and said, "I hope you had a Happy Birthday. I got you a birthday present, but you aren't going to get it until I leave."...... "You got me a present?".... "Yeah, but you have to wait until I get up there."...... I'm still not sure if he actually got me anything or if he was just being stupid. I'll be really mad if he doesn't.... um, hello, I didn't bring it up. He did.
I also told Jeni about my feelings for him. She had NO clue. Apparently, I'm really good at hiding my feelings, lol, because I was sure she knew. She gave me some great advice.
Anyway, we spent a lot of time together on Wednesday. Both of us were dancing around the subject of going to lunch..... we never did. I think he was waiting for me to ask and I was waiting for him to ask. Stupid us, lol.
Thursday sucked. He finally came in and we kind of avoided each other. Then, Mary sort of played matchmaker.... it was picture time. We got our little picture and chatted for a few minutes. Mary left us alone and he said he had to go, "I'll be back tomorrow." He'd said this every day before left, throughout the week.
"Yeah, but I won't. My flight leaves tomorrow morning."
We did the good-bye thing. Well, he never said good bye, just "See you later."
I ended up leaving him a card on his desk. Then, before I got on the plane, I sent him a text message, thanking him for telling me himself. I'd have been really, really mad if I'd heard it from someone else. When I got off the plane, he had texted me back.
We'll see when/if I hear from him again.... or, if there's a present, lol. Mary and Jeni (who both know him well and adore him) both brought up some good points to me. He's clearly not ready for anything real, at this point in his life. He's still trying to figure out who is and what he wants. Regardless of what he may or may not feel about me.... he needs to get his life together.
I came back to work today (Monday the 31st). All of his stuff was gone. I was sad, but not nearly as sad I thought I was going to be. It will take some getting used to. Especially, since in the past 6 months, we've seen and/or talked and/or texted and/or emailed and/or Facebooked one another almost every day.
Well, I guess I got an answer. Now, I'm just praying for help moving on.