Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Lesson #1 - Speaking Up

 There have been several times in the past few years that I've written about this. Usually, it is when I have finally gotten the courage to admit my feelings to the current boy (well.... really, there have been two The Guy and Fun Distraction). But, I've also talked about how I tend to keep things in.

I'm afraid to say something I will regret..... I'll regret the consequences..... So, I just keep silent.

Then, I end up regretting NOT saying what I was truly feeling. Because, we cannot hold other people accountable for things they didn't know.

In the end, I may be sad about the other person's reaction/actions, but I never end up sorry that I said something. Because, I was truthful.... and, in that moment, 100% me.

I've learned to speak up, but not in anger. Stay above the belt. Say your feelings, but don't be mean. Be firm, but loving.

It's all a hard line to tow, but I'm getting better at it. Whether at work or with friends or with family or with the Customer Service rep at zazzle.com...... I'm slowly getting better at voicing my thoughts on a situation.

This weekend, TG.... who still hasn't addressed the 38 week elephant in the room (oh, yeah, that is right.... apparently, he's going to be a Daddy sometime around Oct 12th...... yes, my anger and hurt was multiplied).... decided to be all cute on our personal FBs. After several hours of mulling it over (and, getting out the super sarcastic and nasty things I wanted to reply with), I settled on this.....

Beyond him replying, "Touche!!!" we still have spoken or texted. While I spoke up in that letter I wrote him such a long time ago, I just went ahead and started being his friend again without speaking up about how his silence for six months affected me.

At the very least, he now knows that while I *do* wish him well and I *do* still call him a friend, I'm not happy with him.

So, today's lesson is to "Speak Now." 

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