Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Alright.... here I go..

So, "The Guy" and his girlfriend broke up this weekend.

Did I ever mention that he had a girlfriend? I'll have to go back and read.

Anyway, Friday, we went out to lunch. I hinted to him that I wanted to. I thought he shot me down. He brought up his girlfriend out of thin air (to remind us that he had one). Then, several conversations later, he goes, "So, are we going to lunch?"

As surprised as I was (again, I had accepted that it wasn't happening), we went and had a great time. When it comes down to it, we are good friends. I get him and he gets me. We talk about everything and nothing.... and, it doesn't seem to get old.

Well, I came to work yesterday and found out that the girlfriend is no more.

And, I started freaking out.

Because, this means that it's "put up or shut up" time. If it doesn't happen, I need to move on. But, I want to make sure that it's what God wants. So, I need to pray and be prayed for, please.

Back to the girlfriend....

Erin from Blue-eyed Bride wrote a post that got me thinking. She was talking about running into exes and how that can be awkward.

I have the complete opposite problem. "The guy" and I are friends. We have never done anything. We've never voiced anything (which is why I'm not 100% that he even feels anything). However, there is definitely a vibe there.

I have lots of guy friends at the station. I am friends with their significant others.

However, with "The Guy".... not happening. He doesn't talk too much and I don't ask too much. When I've been around her (and the last one), it's awkward. Period. We're friends, but we aren't that kind of friends. He doesn't want to hear about me and other guys. I don't want to hear about him and other girls.

He doesn't even like to hear that I have a crush on George Clooney. And, Shane West.

So, as I'm praying and slightly freaking out, it has hit me. I've seen him through 3 (count them... 3) girlfriends since I've known him. I know he's about to break up with them about 2 months before he knows he's about to break up with them. I know when he's on his way to getting another one.

It gets weird when "a girlfriend" is around. I try to be nice and not rude. But, the fact is.... well, they pick up on it. And, no, I don't befriend them. I have no interest in being their friends.

At the same time, I refuse to not be friends with him. I would never say or do anything while he has one. He once told my mom, "I just want you to know that your daughter is the most amazing girl in the world." I should have acknowledged it and, at least, asked what it meant. I didn't, though, because he was with someone at the time.

So, while I try to respect the girlfriend and their relationship, I really don't. Because, I've seen him through 3. They're gone. I'm still here.

Does that make me a bad person?


Emily said...

hang in there friend... guys can be soo difficult but everything will work out.. I know it will! Ill be thinking about you and hoping it all gets worked out! U should hold out for the guy that treats you like a princess and puts you number one...

Tony and Susan said...

i remember telling one of my friends that tony was the greatest guy i had ever met and she asked me why didn't i ask him out and i told her i we were just good friends...we will be married 10 years in october! i'll be praying for you! we miss you at cpe!