Living with Intention

Over the past month or so, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching. Part of it probably stems from the fact that I'm about to turn 30 (and, I'm a little freaked about it).

Then, I got into a yelling match with FD. He "still isn't sure" if he thinks he'll ever marry BSG, but he does know he doesn't want to get married right now. In his words, his life is more than his relationship status.... he has a good job, good friends, great family, etc. If he gets to be 70 and still never marries, he'll be ok because he likes his life. While I do see his point, I also think he's wasting both of their time. If he REALLY was honest with himself, he knows she's not The One. If they both were ok with the idea of never getting married, it would be one thing.... but, I barely know the girl and I know that she is wanting the person she is meant to be with.

Which is why when he got onto me about being too picky (at which point I yelled back very pointedly, "Clearly, I'm NOT!") and that I don't give guys a chance, I sat back and thought about it. The fact is that I'm just not interested until I'm interested. I can't explain it. There's no rhyme or reason. If it's there, it's there. If it's not, it's not. And, I don't want to waste my time. I'll gladly be friends with anyone, but I'm not going to date or be in a relationship with someone if I can't see it going beyond that, even just a little bit. Maybe it's short-sighted of me and maybe I'm losing out, but if I can't see the potential for more, I'd rather not waste time.

Over the next couple weeks, I really did think about my life and where it's going. About the things I have always wanted to do. About the things I should do. About the things I needed to do. I started writing them down.... just slowly, once something came to me.

Then, this past weekend, I was at a wedding and I got put at the "Single Girls" table. That is another story in itself, but I ended up having a wonderful conversation with another early bird to the table. We talked about a lot, but we started talking about our intentions in life.

Here's the thing. I have no idea what the next few years will bring. None. No clue. I don't know if I'll meet and/or marry and/or have children with the man I'm supposed to do all of that. I don't know if some dream job that I just can't turn down comes my way. I don't know if I'll still be sitting in my same exact desk in my same exact job in my same exact city.

So, my "To-Do List" became a "101 in 1001" list.

If 1001 days from now, I'm still in the exact same physical and relational space that I'm in now, I need to be ok with that. Hell, I need to be GREAT with it. I do not have a ton of control over who will hire me or who will fall in love with me, but I can control what I do with what I'm given. I can live with intention, rather than sitting around and letting my life pass in front of my eyes.

Yes, a lot has happened in the last three years. A LOT. I've changed and grown in a lot of ways. There have been some very difficult and painful times. I've had some really fun, great experiences. But, there are more to be had.

You'll find that my list doesn't contain items that are conditional........ on having a man, on having a different job, on living somewhere else. They are all based on what my life is now and are all things that could easily be incorporated into a life that included a guy, a different job, or a different location. What I'm saying is that just because it isn't on the list, doesn't mean I wouldn't like it to happen in the next 2.75 years. It's just that, I can't account for those major life events. Marriage, kids, etc..... those are all things that I can't really do without the desire of a partner. 

Anything having to do with my family and friends...... they are all things that I know the other person would enjoy. The "Oh, we really need to get together more" or "Someday, we'll have to do...." but it takes effort on at least one person to make it happen.

So, I'll make the effort. I'll make it important. Because, it is. 

1001 days from now, I want to be able to look back and SEE all the things I accomplished. I want to set a deadline for myself for the big, scary tasks. I want to make the smaller items that usually fall between the cracks something that won't fall through.

I want to live with intention.

101 in 1001: June 1, 2013 – February 26, 2016

Faith:

1. Find a Sunday School/Life group
2. Complete three different devotional studies
3. Memorize 30 verses that will help me in daily life
4. Volunteer at VBS
5. Read the entire Bible
6. Watch and journal about all of the NOOMA videos
7. Make a new list of the qualities I want in my husband and pray/journal about each individual item on the list

Travel:

8. Travel to Italy
9. Visit Chicago
10. Visit my Grandma Jo in NC
11. Girls’ Weekend in NYC
12. Girls’ Weekend in Biloxi
13. Visit Ben and Terra in Texas
14. Visit Kat and April in NC
15. Visit St. Augustine
16. Make a Shutterfly book for 2012’s travels
17. Make a Shutterfly book for 2013’s travels
18. Make a Shutterfly book for 2014’s travels
19. Make a Shutterfly book for 2015’s travels

Health:

20. Run a 5K
21. Run a 10K (or ten mile run)
22. Run a Half-Marathon
23. Complete the Insanity program
24. Go Gluten-Free for a week
25. Go Paleo for a week
26. Take a dance class
27. Take a Yoga class
28. Workout in the morning for a month
29. Try a Spin Class
30. Be a guest in one of A’s classes
31. Workout to my Ballet DVD, 3 times per week for two months
32. Get my eyes checked
33. Try acupuncture
34. Get a massage a month for a year

Enrichment:

35. Take a class at a local college
36.  Read ‘Gone with the Wind’
37. Read ‘The Great Gatsby’
38. Read the Mafia book that C lent me over two years ago and return it to him
39.  Go to one of those paint-along studios to paint a “masterpiece”
40.  Read each Jane Austen book
41. Take a cooking class
42. Make 25 things I’ve pinned on Pinterest
43. Take piano lessons
44. Purge my closet
45. Organize my bedroom
46. Organize my stationary into one nice compartment
47. Back up/organize all the pictures on my computer
48. Attend the Ballet
49. Attend a Musical
50. Donate to a charity (beyond St Jude or church)

Financial/Career:

51. Pay off my car
52. Update my resume
53. Invest separately from my 401k
54. Find at least 5 jobs that I think I’d like and apply for them
55. Make a 2013 “Yearbook” from Shutterfly
56. Make a 2014 “Yearbook” from Shutterfly
57. Grow my Scentsy business to become a SuperStar Consultant
58. Buy a house

Silly Dreams and Fun:

59. Audition to be a Rockette
60. Go dancing at a club
61. Buy a stranger coffee
62. Donate blood
63. Buy myself flowers
64. Apply to be on ‘Big Brother’
65. Apply to be on ‘The Amazing Race’
66. Go an entire month without hitting ‘Snooze’
67. Make macaroons
68. Audition for community theatre
69. Eat at Wolfgang Puck at Downtown Disney
70. Eat at Cinderella’s Royal Table at MK
71. Eat at Be Our Guest at MK
72. Eat at Coral Reef at EPCOT
73. Eat at Ohana’s at Polynesian Resort
74. Eat at California Grill at Contemporary
75. Fun night at Seminole Hard Rock
76. Buy a lottery ticket when there’s a huge jackpot
77. Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years
78. Go to the midnight premiere of ‘Catching Fire’
79. Go to the midnight premiere of ‘Mockingjay’
80. Go to the Drive-In
81. Get a facial
82. Buy a new mattress
83. Dance in the rain

Family & Friends:

84. Take Mr. H to Disney World
85. Take Mr. H to see at least 3 movies
86. Take Ninny to lunch at least 6 times
87. Go to yard sales with “the sisters” once
88. Send Megan H a care package
89. Send Natacia a care package
90. Visit Tanner once a month for 6 months
91. Take Trevor to a pro-sports game
92. Go with the family to a Gator game
93. Take Evan, Emma, and Abby on a date
94. Have a Girls’ Night with Kelley
95. Cook “everyone” dinner
96. Visit Meg and the kids at their new house
97. Lunch w/ Shannon once a month for 6 months
98. Lunch w/ Eissa once a month for 6 months
99. Lunch w/ LAP once a month for 6 months
100. Have a nice long catch-up talk with Mich
101. Send 20 non-bday/non-Christmas cards in the mail to friends

One More for Good Measure:

102. Blog as much of my list as possible