Saturday, June 1, 2013

Living with Intention

Over the past month or so, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching. Part of it probably stems from the fact that I'm about to turn 30 (and, I'm a little freaked about it).

Then, I got into a yelling match with FD. He "still isn't sure" if he thinks he'll ever marry BSG, but he does know he doesn't want to get married right now. In his words, his life is more than his relationship status.... he has a good job, good friends, great family, etc. If he gets to be 70 and still never marries, he'll be ok because he likes his life. While I do see his point, I also think he's wasting both of their time. If he REALLY was honest with himself, he knows she's not The One. If they both were ok with the idea of never getting married, it would be one thing.... but, I barely know the girl and I know that she is wanting the person she is meant to be with.

Which is why when he got onto me about being too picky (at which point I yelled back very pointedly, "Clearly, I'm NOT!") and that I don't give guys a chance, I sat back and thought about it. The fact is that I'm just not interested until I'm interested. I can't explain it. There's no rhyme or reason. If it's there, it's there. If it's not, it's not. And, I don't want to waste my time. I'll gladly be friends with anyone, but I'm not going to date or be in a relationship with someone if I can't see it going beyond that, even just a little bit. Maybe it's short-sighted of me and maybe I'm losing out, but if I can't see the potential for more, I'd rather not waste time.

Over the next couple weeks, I really did think about my life and where it's going. About the things I have always wanted to do. About the things I should do. About the things I needed to do. I started writing them down.... just slowly, once something came to me.

Then, this past weekend, I was at a wedding and I got put at the "Single Girls" table. That is another story in itself, but I ended up having a wonderful conversation with another early bird to the table. We talked about a lot, but we started talking about our intentions in life.

Here's the thing. I have no idea what the next few years will bring. None. No clue. I don't know if I'll meet and/or marry and/or have children with the man I'm supposed to do all of that. I don't know if some dream job that I just can't turn down comes my way. I don't know if I'll still be sitting in my same exact desk in my same exact job in my same exact city.

So, my "To-Do List" became a "101 in 1001" list.

If 1001 days from now, I'm still in the exact same physical and relational space that I'm in now, I need to be ok with that. Hell, I need to be GREAT with it. I do not have a ton of control over who will hire me or who will fall in love with me, but I can control what I do with what I'm given. I can live with intention, rather than sitting around and letting my life pass in front of my eyes.

Yes, a lot has happened in the last three years. A LOT. I've changed and grown in a lot of ways. There have been some very difficult and painful times. I've had some really fun, great experiences. But, there are more to be had.

You'll find that my list doesn't contain items that are conditional........ on having a man, on having a different job, on living somewhere else. They are all based on what my life is now and are all things that could easily be incorporated into a life that included a guy, a different job, or a different location. What I'm saying is that just because it isn't on the list, doesn't mean I wouldn't like it to happen in the next 2.75 years. It's just that, I can't account for those major life events. Marriage, kids, etc..... those are all things that I can't really do without the desire of a partner. 

Anything having to do with my family and friends...... they are all things that I know the other person would enjoy. The "Oh, we really need to get together more" or "Someday, we'll have to do...." but it takes effort on at least one person to make it happen.

So, I'll make the effort. I'll make it important. Because, it is. 

1001 days from now, I want to be able to look back and SEE all the things I accomplished. I want to set a deadline for myself for the big, scary tasks. I want to make the smaller items that usually fall between the cracks something that won't fall through.

I want to live with intention.

101 in 1001: June 1, 2013 – February 26, 2016

  1. Find a Sunday School/Life group
  2. Complete three different devotional studies
  3. Memorize 30 verses that will help me in daily life
  4. Volunteer at VBS
  5. Read the entire Bible
  6. Watch and journal about all of the NOOMA videos
  7. Make a new list of the qualities I want in my husband and pray/journal about each individual item on the list

  1. Travel to Italy
  2. Visit Chicago
  3. Visit my Grandma Jo in NC
  4. Girls’ Weekend in NYC
  5. Girls’ Weekend in Biloxi
  6. Visit Ben and Terra in Texas
  7. Visit Kat and April in NC
  8. Visit St. Augustine
  9. Make a Shutterfly book for 2012’s travels
  10. Make a Shutterfly book for 2013’s travels
  11. Make a Shutterfly book for 2014’s travels
  12. Make a Shutterfly book for 2015’s travels

  1. Run a 5K
  2. Run a 10K (or ten mile run)
  3. Run a Half-Marathon
  4. Complete the Insanity program
  5. Go Gluten-Free for a week
  6. Go Paleo for a week
  7. Take a dance class
  8. Take a Yoga class
  9. Workout in the morning for a month
  10. Try a Spin Class
  11. Be a guest in one of A’s classes
  12. Workout to my Ballet DVD, 3 times per week for two months
  13. Get my eyes checked
  14. Try acupuncture
  15. Get a massage a month for a year

  1. Take a class at a local college
  2.  Read ‘Gone with the Wind’
  3. Read ‘The Great Gatsby’
  4. Read the Mafia book that C lent me over two years ago and return it to him
  5.  Go to one of those paint-along studios to paint a “masterpiece”
  6.  Read each Jane Austen book
  7. Take a cooking class
  8. Make 25 things I’ve pinned on Pinterest
  9. Take piano lessons
  10. Purge my closet
  11. Organize my bedroom
  12. Organize my stationary into one nice compartment
  13. Back up/organize all the pictures on my computer
  14. Attend the Ballet
  15. Attend a Musical
  16. Donate to a charity (beyond St Jude or church)

  1. Pay off my car
  2. Update my resume
  3. Invest separately from my 401k
  4. Find at least 5 jobs that I think I’d like and apply for them
  5. Make a 2013 “Yearbook” from Shutterfly
  6. Make a 2014 “Yearbook” from Shutterfly
  7. Grow my Scentsy business to become a SuperStar Consultant
  8. Buy a house

Silly Dreams and Fun:
  1. Audition to be a Rockette
  2. Go dancing at a club
  3. Buy a stranger coffee
  4. Donate blood
  5. Buy myself flowers
  6. Apply to be on ‘Big Brother’
  7. Apply to be on ‘The Amazing Race’
  8. Go an entire month without hitting ‘Snooze’
  9. Make macaroons
  10. Audition for community theatre
  11. Eat at Wolfgang Puck at Downtown Disney
  12. Eat at Cinderella’s Royal Table at MK
  13. Eat at Be Our Guest at MK
  14. Eat at Coral Reef at EPCOT
  15. Eat at Ohana’s at Polynesian Resort
  16. Eat at California Grill at Contemporary
  17. Fun night at Seminole Hard Rock
  18. Buy a lottery ticket when there’s a huge jackpot
  19. Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years
  20. Go to the midnight premiere of ‘Catching Fire’
  21. Go to the midnight premiere of ‘Mockingjay’
  22. Go to the Drive-In
  23. Get a facial
  24. Buy a new mattress
  25. Dance in the rain

Family & Friends:
  1. Take Mr. H to Disney World
  2. Take Mr. H to see at least 3 movies
  3. Take Ninny to lunch at least 6 times
  4. Go to yard sales with “the sisters” once
  5. Send Megan H a care package
  6. Send Natacia a care package
  7. Visit Tanner once a month for 6 months
  8. Take Trevor to a pro-sports game
  9. Go with the family to a Gator game
  10. Take Evan, Emma, and Abby on a date
  11. Have a Girls’ Night with Kelley
  12. Cook “everyone” dinner
  13. Visit Meg and the kids at their new house
  14. Lunch w/ Shannon once a month for 6 months
  15. Lunch w/ Eissa once a month for 6 months
  16. Lunch w/ LAP once a month for 6 months
  17. Have a nice long catch-up talk with Mich
  18. Send 20 non-bday/non-Christmas cards in the mail to friends

One More for Good Measure:
  1. Blog as much of my list as possible


Melissa said...

I love this list. :) And you know I especially love #68. I also think #7 is a great idea. I did it! (I don't know if i journaled about them but i did write them & pray for them, and i did get what i asked for!)

I hated hated HATED it when people said i was too picky. And i would explain it JUST like you explain it here. What is the point of wasting my time?! I mean, really. And why not be picky!? People are picky about houses & cars & pets... this is someone you have to spend the rest of your life with!

A Country Girls World said...

First, being picky is how I got my fiance. If I hadn't been picky, I may have been with someone else when we met. Also, love that you are doing this list, I have one too and it feels great to cross something off. I always feel like I have accomplished something :) Good luck :)