Ok, so I realize that by asking ya'll for help, I might be immature and unprofessional..................
That said..............
This morning, while in a meeting, a coworker brought up a question. A question that I knew was coming. A question that was snide, but masked by fake curiousity (ie, everyone knew that the coworker was being difficult). I answered the question, in a firm and direct manner. Said coworker then "rephrased" the question and was basically told it was a non-issue and to drop it (not by me).
About 10 minutes after the meeting ended, I received this in my inbox..........
Jessica,
I’m honestly tired of you disrespecting me when I mention things here at work that you may not agree with. It’s unprofessional and rude. Please refrain from doing so in the future. If you have a concern or disagreement about something I say, please handle it in a more mature and professional fashion.
Thanks in advance,
Said coworker
(this is an exact copy and paste of the email)
To which I responded..........
Besides this morning when we disagreed about ***********, would you like to clarify?
If you are unhappy with my professionalism and would like to sit down together with Our Manager and/or General Manger and/or Company Owner to discuss it, that would be fine with me.
Coworker's response.........
There have been several instances. I don’t keep track of them or anything, but I will if you’d like me to moving forward. However, I hope there won’t be a need to.
I have never mentioned it to you before, so I trust just getting my concern(s) out there with you personally will be all that’s needed. We can cross any other bridge we may get to in the future.
Thanks.
At this point, I've not responded and probably won't. Said Coworker's MO is to continue these email exchanges to the point of ridiculousness.
Thoughts?
Advice?
Knowing that you weren't there to witness the exchange....... but that I wasn't told by Our Manager or the General Manager (who were at the meeting) that I was out of line...... am I coming across as rude, immature, or unprofessional in this exchange?
9 comments:
Nope, sounds like typical office political bs! You stand your ground, not everyone will agree with you and vice versa. I think you're right to just leave it as is. Some people just can't stand to work with others for reasons I can't understand!
Just take the high road and say, "I apologize if I've upset you, that was never my intention. However, I do not believe I've handled myslef in a rude or unprofessional manner. I'll continue to try and treat you and all my coworkers with respect, but if you continue to be unhappy with me, my offer with the manager still stands."
Then click send and roll your eyes that someone is being so petty.
I've dealt with a couple other people like this before. I think usually in these situations, the coworker is threatened by you, or you are standing in the way of something they want. And they blame you for it, regardless of whether you hold the keys to the issue or not, so to speak.
I think the response that Marianne gave above is a really good way to go about it.
Sounds like you're handling it all very professionally to me...how old is this person? I'm guessing pretty young.
I agree that you are handling it well. I would probably just ignore it. Or write back & tell him that your disagreements w/ him have not been rude or unprofessional. Just honest. He's got issues.
I'd let it go. Honestly, not worth it at all.
You could have gone all smart-ass with:
Hi Coworker,
Thanks so much for the feedback. As I'm continually looking for ways to improve myself, this is super helpful. I'll make sure if you have another opinion in the future, I'll share my feedback with you.
Have a fabulous day!
xxxx
Sounds like a gal I work with. She apparently only communicates by email which makes it bad when she asks questions and you're not really sure why she's asking it and then proceeds to email someone else when she doesn't like the answer. That combined with relaying some information to a co-worker the other day. And before the person even finished their reply she bites back about how she doesn't have to be rude about it! The person wasn't being rude, but she decided to assume that they were.
I think you handled it perfectly....she had a problem, you suggested a compromise with a mediator, she pushed pack and then you ended it.
I wouldn't correspond with her anymore. Like you said, she will carry this on if you do.
SOunds like a bully. THere is a girl at my work that is just like your coworker. I bet now that you've stood up for yourself, your problems will go away. GOod for you, sister!
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