Monday, July 19, 2010

Physical, Mental, and Emotional Exhaustion

So, remember last week when I had a sucky day on Monday?

Today was one for the record books.

Epic awful.

Let me say, I love my job. I adore it. I love the company I work for. It's full of amazing people. It really, truly is. Obviously, I've had incredible opportunities and experiences. However, it doesn't come without some price. It can be a very tough place to navigate, sometimes. Creative people can be hard to be around.

Today started out bad. I was desperate enough for help that I broke my vow of not talking to The Guy unless he talks to me. I chatted him up on FB for advice.

See, he always used to tell me, "You're such a good person. You're such a nice person. People don't appreciate you like they should. Don't let this building or this business change you. It can ruin you if you're not careful. Stay a nice person."

Maybe it was because he said it, but I've always took that to heart. And, lately, I feel like that's slipping. Like, no matter how hard I try, I can't be a nice, good person AND be taken seriously. It's like I'm losing myself.

So, I went back to TG. To my former best friend and the guy I love for help. Because, when he was here, we kept each other in check. When I needed to vent, he'd listen and understand and then offer perspective. When he needed to vent, I'd listen and understand and then offer perspective.

Which, he did, today. However, my day didn't get better. It got worse. Way worse.

To the point, that one of my best friends and I had a major falling out. I was snippy about work-related stuff. Then, she got super personal and I ended up sobbing in my office.

Then, I ended up sobbing in my boss' office.

At first, I was speaking in generalities........ asking for advice on how to stay nice and a good person without getting walked on. He had some great advice and was very kind about the fact that I was literally hyperventilating.

Then, he gently moved onto specifics and wanted to know the "straw" so to speak. I did end up telling him a lot of things that had been going on that bothered me. Again, he was supportive and offered up some great advice.

Mainly, he told me that I'm doing a good job and that I need to remember that.

And, he told me to take tomorrow off, because I'm running myself ragged and am burning myself out.

I'm going out to dinner with my best friends from high school later this week. I really can't wait. Because, they know me. And, they love me. And, they would be my friends if I worked where I work or if I was a teacher or if I were a stay-at-home mommy or if I laid tile. And, I love them back in the same way.

I'm going to sleep in, tomorrow. And, go see Toy Story 3. And, possibly go get a pedicure.


erin. said...

:( Sorry you had such a bad day!! Sending happiness to the Sunshine state! Hope you have a restful day tomorrow. No job should make you feel that way. I had a job like that and I still feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Hope you have a better week & enjoy your night out with your HS friends!

Lil' Woman said...

Aww girl, I'm so sorry you had such a crappy day. Your boss is probably right that you should take the day off and relax....enjoy Toy Story and the pedicure tootz! :)

Janna said...

I am SO sorry you are having a rough time right now. I hope you have a GREAT GREAT GREAT Jess day! YOU DESERVE IT! Relax and enjoy!

Brittany Ann said...

I am so glad you have the day off. You deserve it. You are still a nice person - that is who you are - but you're just tired and worn-down and sick of being the go-to girl, which is understandable. Don't beat yourself up over that. Just take this day. Relax. And return tomorrow ready to conquer the world!

Gina said...

Oh girl, I wish I would have caught you on IM last night. I'll email you my number pronto!

Krystal said...

Hey, I cried in front of my boss yesterday too! We rule!

No, but really, radio is tough. You *can* be nice and do a good job. It's possible. Be true to yourself and everything else should be easy.


Marianne said...


So sorry you've been having a rough time at work lately. Just know that everything always gets better :)

Also, what's your schedule look like Aug 13-21, I have zero school and zero meetings during those dates and was thinking of bailing out on babysitting and coming for a visit! Obviously not for the entire 8 days, but if you're available a few of them I want to do it! I have $150 ticket voucher that needs to be used!!! Let me know chica :)

Kristen said...

Hi Jess! It sounds like your boss is really great. I have an amazing boss as well and it makes my work life so much easier.

Looks like we are returning to Orlando the first week of October for the Epcot Food & Wine Festival! Would love to actually meet up this time. Aside from a few dinner reservations, our schedule is much more relaxed this time around.