So, remember last week when I had a sucky day on Monday?
Today was one for the record books.
Let me say, I love my job. I adore it. I love the company I work for. It's full of amazing people. It really, truly is. Obviously, I've had incredible opportunities and experiences. However, it doesn't come without some price. It can be a very tough place to navigate, sometimes. Creative people can be hard to be around.
Today started out bad. I was desperate enough for help that I broke my vow of not talking to The Guy unless he talks to me. I chatted him up on FB for advice.
See, he always used to tell me, "You're such a good person. You're such a nice person. People don't appreciate you like they should. Don't let this building or this business change you. It can ruin you if you're not careful. Stay a nice person."
Maybe it was because he said it, but I've always took that to heart. And, lately, I feel like that's slipping. Like, no matter how hard I try, I can't be a nice, good person AND be taken seriously. It's like I'm losing myself.
So, I went back to TG. To my former best friend and the guy I love for help. Because, when he was here, we kept each other in check. When I needed to vent, he'd listen and understand and then offer perspective. When he needed to vent, I'd listen and understand and then offer perspective.
Which, he did, today. However, my day didn't get better. It got worse. Way worse.
To the point, that one of my best friends and I had a major falling out. I was snippy about work-related stuff. Then, she got super personal and I ended up sobbing in my office.
Then, I ended up sobbing in my boss' office.
At first, I was speaking in generalities........ asking for advice on how to stay nice and a good person without getting walked on. He had some great advice and was very kind about the fact that I was literally hyperventilating.
Then, he gently moved onto specifics and wanted to know the "straw" so to speak. I did end up telling him a lot of things that had been going on that bothered me. Again, he was supportive and offered up some great advice.
Mainly, he told me that I'm doing a good job and that I need to remember that.
And, he told me to take tomorrow off, because I'm running myself ragged and am burning myself out.
I'm going out to dinner with my best friends from high school later this week. I really can't wait. Because, they know me. And, they love me. And, they would be my friends if I worked where I work or if I was a teacher or if I were a stay-at-home mommy or if I laid tile. And, I love them back in the same way.
I'm going to sleep in, tomorrow. And, go see Toy Story 3. And, possibly go get a pedicure.