Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Well, darnit.... that didn't work out like I thought it would.

We all know about The Guy.

Well, I've mentioned my attempts to move on or give other guy's a shot. Let's be honest.... I don't try very hard and am not very successful, but we're working on it. Let's be doubly honest.... there aren't a ton of men knocking down my door.

However, there has been one "distraction" that has lasted longer than most distractions and with whom I've enjoyed flirting with, pretty continuously. We shall call him "Fun Distraction" from here on out, ok?

Many people think FD is "sweet" on me. I could buy that, sometimes. If so, he has some stepping it up to do. Yes, I realize this sounds a little absurd when comparing anyone who seems sweet on me to other people to a guy who won't respond to a letter. Just go with me on this.

FD is a nice enough guy. He and I get along just fine. There are some things that I really like about him and there are some things that make me go, We're just going to see how this goes.

A big problem with FD is his tendency to act like he's interested.... but then just not.

For instance................

We have a mutual friend who we both just met and who has been pretty insistant on all three of us getting together. She's a whole story, for another post, but long story short, she's been trying to get us all together for like 6 weeks. Friday, she suggested lunch the next day. That wouldn't work, so FD calls me to see if breakfast would work because, "I keep blowing her off and I feel kind of bad."

We ended up going to breakfast on Saturday and had a good time. While discussing our plans for the rest of the day, FD and I both realized we were going to the same event that night. His words, "Oh, good. I thought about not going, but since I'll have someone to hang out with...."

Then, he called me later on in the day to make sure I'd be there.

So, I thought, "Ok, let's give this a shot."

Because as much as I was looking forward to the event (it's actually a REALLY fun event), I was also dreading it. See, last year, I was with TG all night. It was such a non-date, but I left the event completely confused as to what was going on. You can read about it, if you wish..... Last year's non-date that certainly felt like one.

I just was a little sad that this year wasn't going to include him, so the prospect of having someone new to associate it with was quite appealing.

I got there, met up with some people from work, and started making the rounds. Then I met up with Fun Distraction. Throughout the evening, we kept drifting away from each other and then back into each other's vicinity. He's a social butterfly and kept running into people he knew. He would either talk with them or hang with them for a while. We hung out for a while and then would go our separate ways.

At one point, he goes, "I'll be back. I'm going to grab a water."

I asked him if he minded grabbing me one. He said sure and went about it.

Fifteen minutes later, I went and got a Diet Coke because I was getting really thirsty. As I was walking out the door, he saw me and goes, "Hey! All the water was gone. Sorry!"

I told him it was ok because I found a drink and then told him good-bye.

Now..... overall, all of this is fine. Because, we weren't there together. And, that was very evident.

The problem is that I compare it to last year and here is where FD comes up short.......

* TG went to go get water..... he asked me if I wanted one.... then, he brought one back to me.

* FD acted like he was so excited to hang out and then we barely did...... whereas TG made no promises and yet barely left my side.

* A couple people mistook TG and I as being "together"....... No one would have made that mistake about FD and I.

* A while ago, Mary cited that event last year as the first time of many that she would look at TG and I together and think, "Hmmmmm.... I wonder if more is going on there than just friendship."........... She saw FD and I a lot that night and didn't seem phased, at all.

It hit me while I was driving home that TG and I weren't together last year, but we fell into this rhythm without even trying. We were just this unit. In my post from a year ago, I kept saying "it felt like a date, even though it wasn't one."  Maybe I'm just expecting too much, but that just didn't happen (and really hasn't ever) with FD. He's a nice guy and we have fun, but when we were hanging out, he did his thing and I did mine. Period.

I get that I'm overthinking it. I do. It was just really frustrating.

And it's a pattern..... FD acts like he's all about spending time with me, but then when it comes down to it and we're supposed to be hanging out...... he starts the whole social butterfly thing.

Like I said, I'm frustrated. I'm not completely writing FD off, but it's annoying to try to legitimately move on and walk away feeling like it's not working. Maybe I'm being unfair, though.


Gina said...

He's not a distraction unless he distracts you. Move on to someone who you don't compare to TG. You know I've been there and it is possible! Hang in there sister!

Brittany Ann said...

Oh many places to go with this. We're discussing this one in person tomorrow! Some good old girl talk!

See you then! (I'll bring the fruity drink!)

Melissa said...

I agree w/ Gina - wait for someone that you don't compare to TG! I'm not saying to totally write FD off, but it sounds like you want someone else... someone who stands by your side & who you fall into a rhythm with w/o even thrying, like you said. I have no doubt that you'll get a guy like that, even if it's not TG. ;)